Working remotely means the freedom to work anywhere in the world. Along with this perk comes the freedom to date in new cities. This can sound like an enticing opportunity, especially if you feel there aren’t many datable people in your hometown. But is dating across borders easier than dating close to home?
If you’re single and working remotely, you’re probably wondering how it’s going to affect your dating life. Not to worry, there are many ways to travel and successfully date. Here is your guide on how to start dating while traveling or working remotely.
1) Start from a blank page
If you’re thinking about dating while traveling, it’s probably because you haven’t had much luck dating in your city. And with every failed date, you’ve probably created some type of story in your mind. You’ve told yourself that dating is impossible, all the good ones are taken, and the list of excuses goes on.
Now with this new dating perspective that includes meeting people with sexy accents, you have twice the number of butterflies in your stomach. Chances are those negative thoughts about dating at home have influenced your international dating perception. You might be thinking:
- It’s impossible to meet anyone when I’m always traveling
- Most people traveling aren’t looking for anything serious
- It’s dangerous to date abroad
If this is where your thinking is at, now is the time to flip the script.
Your Instagram feed is probably flooded with people who married their high school sweethearts or met someone at the office. However, those aren’t the only love stories. For instance, Mariah Wolfe, a world traveler, shares her experiences dating abroad.
“I once met a Canadian guy on the beach of Oaxaca, Mexico and we agreed to see each other only for the weekend. However, we ended up seeing each other for one more weekend. Then when he went back to Canada and we kept talking and started to have video calls and after 6 weeks, I flew up to live with him for two weeks and we had an amazing time.”
And there are plenty more travel romances happening. If you follow accounts such s @Glographics and @oneikatraveller you will see that it is possible to meet someone while traveling.
2) Ask yourself what you want
Now that you’re starting from a fresh perspective, it’s time to decide what you want to get out of dating. Whether you are looking for an intimate connection, a short fling, or a committed partnership, you want to know your desired outcome.
When deciding what you want in a partner, remember to consider what you want from life. Is traveling and living remotely something you want to do for the next few years? Or do your travel plans have a time limit and you plan to settle down in a certain location?
Figuring out these details may sound like something you want to push into the back of your mind, but they are important. This way when you start meeting people you are interested in or attracted to, you can clearly communicate to them how things can potentially unfold.
Meeting someone you’re attracted to is fun and exciting. Yet if you’re not clear on your expectations and desires, it can lead to heartbreak in the future.
3) Start making connections before your travel
When you travel to a place where you know very little to no people, it can seem impossible to find a date. To avoid feeling utterly lonely when traveling, you can start making connections before your trip. You can do this by:
- Connecting to people on Facebook groups
- Reaching out to local guides and tour companies
- Join local events
- Connect to people you know who are living in the destination you’re visiting
Being connected to people before you travel will make the transition to a new place that much easier. And once you’ve made some new friends, those friends will introduce you to their friends, leading to new people and new connections.
4) Use resources
Dating apps are often the go-to method for finding a date. Even if you are against swiping culture, you might find yourself thumbing through profile pictures. If you haven’t sworn away from the apps, Lonely Planet suggests trying out the following apps.
- Tinder for its ability to search for matches in other countries, with a paid subscription
- Feeld for those that are more open-minded
- Bumble because it empowers women to make the first move
- OkCupid for its algorithm that is based on compatibility and not sultry photos.
If you’re looking to meet someone in person rather than through a screen, then try the following techniques.
Hostels
Whether you choose to stay at a hostel or not, they are a great place to meet people. Many hostels have their own cafes and bars that you can hang out in. Hostels also host events such as language exchanges and game nights. The advantage of meeting someone at a hostel is they are fellow travelers and may have a similar lifestyle as you.
Meet-ups and local events
Meetups bring together like-minded people so there’s a chance you’ll get along with whoever you meet. And local events are a great way to learn more about the local culture and meet someone with a different background.
Frequent the same spot
Whether it’s your favorite cafe, bar, or park, it can be beneficial to visit the same location several times. When you become a regular, chances are you’ll meet other regulars as well.
“Best ways of meeting people are out doing what you love, if you love books go to libraries if you love hiking go hiking,” says Binta Fall-Kourouma a nomad and traveler.
Book a group tour
Group tours are a great way to meet new people and potentially ask someone out on a date. When you meet someone through the tour, you already know that you share similar interests and you can establish a connection.
Go where the locals go
As a new visitor in a foreign place, it’s common to go where all the tourists hang out. However, if you want to meet someone you probably wouldn’t meet in your home country, you have to step outside of the norm. Szilvia Halter author of the book “ How To Date A Foreigner” shares her experience in Vietnam.
“While I lived in Vietnam my local Vietnamese friend once said: “I love hanging out with you because you are always with foreigners!” I was not intentionally doing it, I wanted to meet locals. However, I kept sticking to my Western breakfast while my Vietnamese friend loved her rice and noodles (for breakfast). Changing my diet made a huge difference. I started making a lot more local friends.”
5) Be mindful of cultural differences
Language and food aren’t the only things that are different across cultures. Many countries have different norms and understandings around dating. Here’s what to be mindful of when dating someone with a different background
- What are first date norms?
- How does one culture show affection?
- Is there a language barrier?
- How much do you know about your date’s culture and how much do they know about yours?
Halter also suggests talking about simple yet important topics. “Even the most basic things that you would normally take for granted in your home country, the topics that we are comfortable talking about (e.g., marriage, children, finances) can greatly vary across cultures. Honesty, transparency, and clear communication are extremely important – especially if you date a foreigner because our underlying assumptions are very different around the world.”
Considering cultural differences can help a date go smoothly.
6) Keep trying and stay positive
If you follow the techniques above, everything can go great or everything can go wrong. You don’t always have control over the outcome of your date, but you do have control over what you will do next.
An important tip that Fall-Kourouma, shares is “ Stop romanticizing destinations because of shows or movie characters, it’s all a fantasy and at the end of the day people are people; some are better than others, and the same boy or girl problems you find at home you can find elsewhere.”
So if you end up with a bad date or two or five, simply brush them off and keep going.
Will you meet your special someone while traveling?
When dating abroad, it’s important to keep an open mind, try new experiences, and put yourself out there. There are millions of people in this world and thousands of them are single. Which means you have endless opportunities to meet that special someone.
