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When the Call Drops..

By Mystique Harmon

I have no intention of talking to you. I love you, but I just can’t take it anymore.

I rejoiced when I heard the click. The click that I helped orchestrate.

Yes, I just dropped your call on purpose and blamed it on my cell phone service. Darn those folks at T-Maybe. I was hopping your ars wouldn’t call back.

Have you ever felt stuck in a conversation that you just didn’t want to have? There are nights when I’m all ears for my girlfriends. Until they start rambling on and on, day after day, about the same damn niqqa that played them. Until they start trying to persuade me into crafting up some sneaky plan to catch the fool in his lies. Until they try to get me to play the sexy decoy just to see if he’s trustworthy.

That’s when I have to go click. Sometimes, girls, we just talk too much.

When you hear me start to sigh on the phone, it means I’m getting a little antsy and it’s time to cut the boy complaints out of the conversation.

Okay. I’m not that evil. I’ll listen when you go through that big nasty breakup. I know there’s bound to be post-relationship backlash that I’d rather have you thrown on me instead of making you look like a desperate fool leaving pissed off messages on his voicemail. And I’ll be here when you go through that giggly, love-lust stage with the new boo-thing until things cool off and you two get settled.

But what I can’t be there for is your constant nagging and “woe is me” about some stupid boy. My answer for players? Don’t press the start button. Let the game be over before it even begins. Ignore them.

I try to tell my girls that. Some of them get my drift. They know that men are like stray dogs. They don’t know what’s good until it leaves them and then they always come back. I mean they always come back. But some of my girls? They’ll obsess over his every move. “Why he talkin’ to her and not me?” “Am I not cute enough for him?” When I really want to scream:

HE’S NOT CHECKIN’ FOR YOU. SO STOP LETTING THIS NIQQA EAT YOUR BRAIN CELLS.

But instead I sigh and listen, yawning, fake talking to the cat that I don’t own to see if I can subtly send a message that says I’m too busy to be listening to you whine about this fool all day.

And then there’s that click. I feel bad when I have to do it. But sometimes I can’t take it anymore and well, I’ve just got to…go.

It’s unfortunate that purposely hanging up on you is the only way out of a nagging conversation. But to my girlfriends who just can’t seem to see the light yet, let me make it clear.

I love you. But I don’t want to talk about what that dumb niqqa did to you all day. He was wrong. He was stupid. And he doesn’t even deserve the honor of having his name roll of your tongue. So why entertain it. It’s time to be on to the next.

By the way. You’ll save me some minutes in the process. You know I’m cheap and I’ve still got that don’t-call-me-before-9pm phone plan.

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