The Unofficial Girl

By Sabrina Smith

It’s time to face the honest truth: sometimes a lady cannot get the “girlfriend” title. It happens one of two ways: the previous girlfriend ruined it for the next female relationship seeker, or, the idea of a relationship is just too much for the guy to handle. Oh but it can get even worst: What do you do when the guy treats you like a wifey but refuses to put a ring on it? How do you cope? Here are some personal tips from one unofficial girl to the next:

1.)  Be Independent: Find things that keep you occupied and distracted from the idea of having to always think about the guy. I recommend a night-on-the-town with your fellow home girls or going shopping (that always makes me feel so much better!)

2.)  Stay Focused: Yeah he doesn’t announce you as his main girl, but don’t let that bring you down. Look on the bright side; the fact that he’s not claiming you has its perks because you never have to worry about the complications that are associated with a relationship. That means no time for fighting or complaining about one another.

3.)  Get him jealous: If you really want some male company, find that hottie who simply wants to wine and dine you. It benefits the situation because the guy you want might just get vex seeing you with someone else.

4.) Enjoy the company: There has to be some good qualities about him that make you want to stay around without that “GF” label. Appreciate the time that you spend with that unofficial dude and just have fun. Who knows, things can change for the better (like him actually coming to his senses).

And if my suggestions don’t stick, pay attention to the words of Alysia from Russell Simmons HBO segment Brave New Voices: That Girl. These are some powerful words to listen to:


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