Stop Comparing Yourself: She Ain’t You!

Posted on October 21, 2011

Chris Brown said it best in his song “She Ain’t You”, because she really isn’t. Let’s face it, ladies. We’ve all at one point looked and immediately sized one another up. And, we all know that it’s definitely not a good feeling to feel like you’re not as good as the person right beside you. It doesn’t even have to be about a potential significant other. “She’s prettier”, “She’s smarter”, “She’s going to get the job before I do” or any statement such as those have the potential to give your own self the short end of the stick.

I know this because I’ve been through it myself. Constantly comparing myself to others has made me feel as though I wasn’t good enough or what I was doing wasn’t enough. Luckily though, I’ve found several pieces of advice that have helped me out along the way to a better, more positive me.

It starts with embracing who you are: You know you best, even if you haven’t quite figured it out yet. Write a sweet letter to yourself, or compile a simple list of everything that you like about yourself. If you have trouble with the second suggestion, simply ask a friend or loved one to help you out. Sometimes, the people around us have a way of turning our negative perceptions of ourselves into the positive healthy ones that we would have never thought of. Now review and realize that you got it going on girl!

Use your strengths in lieu of your weaknesses: Here’s what I mean by this. You may not be that size 2 girl, but you an be the size 14 who’s still working it with the curves, dressed to the nines. If you’re completely happy and healthy, then stop worrying about what the next girl is doing. Trying to be something that you’re not won’t work out because it’s not who you’re meant to be. However, if there is something that you’re trying to work on (per say your weight), go work it out for the right reasons. Remember, you should only be in competition with yourself.

Kill your ill feelings with kindness, just like you do with people: Negative thoughts are not your friend. So, treat them like your enemy and for every negative thought you have or comparison you make, turn around and compliment yourself. If you need help with this one, go back to your list or your letter. The more you push the negative thoughts out, the more room you have for the positive ones which makes a more happy you.

And lastly, be the best you that you can be: No one else can be you. Therefore, you owe it to yourself to be the very best you. Let your light shine, because it may evade darkness in a way that no one else can.