By Danija Bailey of Stiumulation Status Magazine
Cuffing season is on its way and girls are feeling skittish about their relationships. Whether its “single”, “in a relationship”, or the dreaded “it’s complicated”, putting an actual label on your love life is necessary for your sanity (and to figure out whether or not you need to spend some time in the boxers section at your favorite department store this holiday season).
When someone says “put a label on it”, it’s merely a suggestion so that you both know where you stand in the equation. It’s important because it allows for you both to know whether you are on the same page and if the relationship is valued the same between both of you. In the event that you aren’t on the same page determining a label allows for you and your significant other to figure out a way to strengthen the bond or decide if its worth it before time is wasted, hearts are broken and loads of cash is spent on traveling and meeting important people in each other’s lives.
1. Always say what is on your mind — with caution. It is best to say it upfront rather than wait for everything to build up into an argument. Almost everyone knows how that turns out – and it’s never good. Remember to say how you feel immediately, calmly, and clearly. If you need to write it down, do it. It may sound like overkill, but it will prevent you from engaging in an unnecessary argument and keep you from saying something that you may not really mean.
2. Have the conversation face-to-face. In this age of technology and social media, Facebook, Twitter, and even Instagram have become common spaces to break news, both good and bad. It is best to have this discussion face-to-face to get a feel on each other’s non-verbal cues and really get a sense of how the other feels during various points in the conversation. It’s easier to throw an LOL in the conversation to ease the seriousness but a conversation of this magnitude needs to be as straightforward as possible.
3. Open with the good and ease into the bad: It is always best to begin with the good and ease into the bad so that your significant other can begin to feel comfortable with the conversation rather than immediately become defensive and want to end ‘the talk’.
4. Give him time to think. After heavy conversations, almost everyone wants, or needs, time to think. It doesn’t mean that he’s upset. He’s just being human. People need time to let their brains reflect before acting irrationally. Allow yourself and your partner time to think about what to do before actually making a move.
5. Don’t trap him into the conversation. Keep the conversation casual and avoid discussing it after a heated incident. Calm the aura and make him feel comfortable so that he doesn’t feel attacked or pressured into talking about your status. If the status question does come up during an argument things will get said more harshly than intended and all of the hope for the conversation to be positive and calm will fly out the window.
When deciding to have ‘the talk’ with your significant other it is best to prepare for the worst but expect the best. The tips above are to aid you in having the conversation and are in no way, shape, or form intended to veer you off course from achieving the coveted Stimulation Status.