Why Are So Many Of Us Secretly Unhappy?

happy black woman

Perhaps it’s a symptom of the age in which we live. We’re all so busy at work, home, or school that we forget to take a second to stop and breathe. Personal health and happiness are two things that seem to be secondary to adult responsibilities. You’d love to prioritize exercise but you’re exhausted when you get in from work. You’d love to eat a healthy breakfast but you only have so many minutes to get ready in the morning. You’d love to spend more time seeing friends or family at the weekend but you’ve got so many chores to complete that you couldn’t during the week.

There’s definitely a theme here, as you can probably tell. A lack of time seems to be at the very core of all our problems. But living a happy and healthy life shouldn’t be something for which you have to “make time”. It should be an integral part of your existing daily routine. You shouldn’t put life first and yourself second; this is your life, after all. Of course, it’s different when you have responsibilities to a partner or your family but that still doesn’t mean you should have to forego your own happiness. Let’s talk a little about the reasons as to why so many of us are unhappy and what you could do to fix these problems if any of them sound relevant to you.

A Bad Diet

At the risk of sounding like your mother, let’s start by talking about the importance of a healthy diet. You need to accept that the food you eat has a powerful effect on both your physical health and your mental health. Eating well isn’t just a hobby for skinny people, believe it or not. Eating well is something we all need to prioritize more in this world of junk food and store-bought ready-made meals. Obviously, that doesn’t mean you should never treat yourself to candy or any snack-based food ever again, but moderation is the key. You can treat yourself as long as your diet has balance on the whole. Your body needs nourishment, at the end of the day. It can handle the occasional unhealthy piece of food as long as it’s getting all the good food it needs.

Basically, your gut has a huge effect on your mood, and that’s why eating poorly can be a big cause of depression, stress, and even apathy. It’s a negative cycle, in a way. You feel bad, so you eat junk for short-term mood improvement but then you end up where you started. You have to make the big step to start eating a more varied and healthy diet (and that means more than just fruit and vegetables) so as to give your body the sustenance it needs, improve your mental state, and start getting into a positive cycle of healthy eating. Carbohydrates (e.g. pasta), calcium (e.g. dairy or soya), and starch (e.g. bread) are examples of the nutrition your body needs. And it’s not just about achieving a healthy weight or even a happy mind. If you need motivation then think about the health of your heart.

Body Confidence Issues

Most of us are self-conscious about our bodies. For many women, it’s their skin that gives them confidence issues. We’re told that blemishes are a part of teenage life but, for most of us, those blemishes remain throughout our adult years. However, there’s a lot you can do to improve your health and, as a result, the quality of your skin. You could even look into a product such as tamanu oil, which can help to soothe your skin using natural ingredients from the fruit of a tamanu tree. It’s important to not overload your body with too many cosmetic products as an overload of unnatural ingredients can have an adverse effect on your skin and body as a whole.

Nevertheless, the point is that there are many products with natural properties that can benefit your physical health immensely. For example, as mentioned earlier, healthiness and happiness both depend on the food you eat; the more natural your diet, the fewer toxins you’ll be pouring into your body and the better your skin will be as a result. And your mental health also has a huge impact on the quality of your skin, for that matter. Work on your stress levels and you might find that your acne becomes a little less aggressive, for example. You’ve probably picked up on the link between the mental and physical aspects of your body at this point.

Lost Perspective

Losing perspective of all the great things in your life is definitely a big cause of unhappiness. We’re all guilty of finding ourselves in such mental states at times. Perhaps you wouldn’t say that you have deeply-rooted mental struggles but you simply feel tired of the dull monotony of day-to-day life. Once something becomes routine, it’s easy to become bored and disconnected with that aspect of your life. What can help is to set yourself the daily task of self-reflection. Think of all the things for which you’re grateful in your life. Grounding yourself on a daily basis could help to bring some center and clarity. Perhaps you’re grateful for the small things such as a close friend. Perhaps you could go and see that friend for a coffee to remind yourself of the positive things in your life. Sometimes, a helpful reminder can really lift your mood.

Bad Friends

It’s so important to be surrounded by good people in life. If you’re unhappy but you can’t find a root cause for it then you might want to consider looking outward rather than inward. Obviously, you shouldn’t go on a witch hunt for toxic people in your life, but you’ll know if there are certain friends or other loved ones that are acting as a source of negativity in your life. It’s important to clarify that this means somebody who doesn’t care for you or treat you with respect rather than somebody who’s simply going through their own issues. A friend who is carrying their own emotional burdens isn’t a bad friend, but a friend who uses their own struggles to bring you down as a person is definitely a bad friend. If you’re unhappy then make sure you’re around the right people in your life.

Bad Communication

Of course, there’s every chance that the problem isn’t your friends. Perhaps you have a great support network of friends and family but you’re just not using that network effectively. You’re not communicating with people and letting them help you. Whether you’ve only felt unhappy for a short while or a deeply-rooted issue is the cause, your loved ones want to help you. You’re not a burden. It’s so important to vent those feelings because letting them build up is far more destructive both to yourself and those around you.

Again, you need to realize that your family and friends want to help you. Whilst anxiety or depression are mental issues that won’t go away overnight, simply airing those problems with people can make a huge difference to your mental state. You’ll no longer feel like you’re hiding some dirty secret. It’s a stereotypical comment to make, but a problem shared is a problem halved. Let your loved ones share your feelings so they can help you overcome your obstacles. Many of us are unhappy because we don’t talk to people or we are not able to be our true selves to those we care about.

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