Many young people assume that the longer you live life, the more you understand it, the better you know yourself, and the more wisdom you build. This is, for the most part, true. Yet it’s important to recognize that it’s not a given, nor is it a linear process. It also fails to account for mistakes that anyone could make, or difficult life situations that can affect anyone.
This is why comparing yourself to others is often a waste of time, and a bad idea, robbing you of your joy. While setting goals is important, sometimes you might feel as though if you haven’t achieved a certain thing by a certain time, you’re worthless. This is never true, of course.
One of the milestones people reach that inspires them to think more deeply about their situation and what they wish for from the future is reaching the age of thirty, which many people consider to be the new twenty. Don’t worry if you’re entering your thirties and feel less sure of yourself than ever, for the following advice can help you reset and recalibrate your direction:
Take A Reflection Week
It can be good to sit back and just think. Odds are, you’ve probably been quite busy in your 20s. Keeping up social ties, figuring your path onto the career ladder, working odd jobs, getting in and out of a relationship, and doing a little traveling, it might not sound like a wall-to-wall effort, but it’s also true to say you’ve probably had your mind on other things.
A question comes to mind – when was the last time you gave yourself the freedom to sit back and reflect? Odds are you might do this in different ways throughout the year, be that folding your laundry, driving to work, or when waiting for that doctor’s appointment. But it can be helpful to schedule some direct time for this.
Perhaps you’ll book a week in a cottage in nature, with your partner or alone. Spending some time to relax, think, journal a little, and allow yourself to consider the direction of your life, what you’ve learned so far, what you hope to change, and your goals, can be tremendously valuable. A reflection week, in many circumstances, may help you think a little more cleanly about what it is you want, what’s not serving you, and how to move forward from there.
Work On Those Faulty Perspectives
Everyone has faulty perspectives and half-considered truths in their life, which is why it’s good to work on those. In some cases, measures designed to help you get to the core of issues you face and even past traumas you may still think about can be key. Heading to a counsellor, undergoing EMDR Healing, or even journalling with care can make a big difference.
It might be, for instance, that you’re still chasing a relationship or friendship with people who don’t really appreciate you. This has wasted a great deal of your energy for the past couple of years, and you have nothing to show for it. Your thirties are a good milestone from which to cut off any difficulties you had in mind, and hopefully restore your self regard, working on those habits you know need to change.
Even if it’s as simple as knowing you’ve had your fun in your 20s and drastically reducing your drinking from here on out, it can make a tremendous difference. It’s this kind of purpose that helps you feel more yourself. Let’s consider that even further below:
Consider Your Renewed Purpose
A purpose can format everything in your life, and it makes tangential decision-making easier. For instance, it might be that you work a daily job, but you’re also tremendously excited to write a novel. You have a good idea, and you want to go for it. You’re okay limiting your weekends out on the town, you don’t mind making a new friendship circle in the literary field of your city, and you dedicate your time to crafting your hobby and getting involved in those arts.
Purpose, like this, can help you better orchestrate your approach to the future. It will enable you to grow and feel as if you’re on the right track. It will also help you dismiss distractions. A purpose doesn’t necessarily have to be one overarching campaign of your life, but something you hope to fulfil well with the best of yourself, be that coaching a local youth football team, starting that band you’ve spoken of for some time, or going for that management position at your job.
Utilize The Wisdom You’ve Gained
It’s good to utilize the wisdom you’ve gained during your twenties. You might not have a huge corporate job that you’ve landed, you might not have started that family yet, you may not own a house as it’s becoming harder for young people, but does all that really matter?
The ten years of experience you’ve had since you turned twenty is not wasted, it can help you better understand who you are, what you want, and certainly what mistakes to avoid. So use that, and reflect on it a little. Those lessons can help last you a lifetime. No doubt you feel much more mature than you did when you were twenty, more adult even, and at forty you will look at your thirty-year-old self with a sense of amusement.
Be Honest With Yourself
You don’t have to be perfect just because you turn thirty. It’s good to be honest with yourself, though. If this is one change you can make, make this. When you can accept the things that you’ve struggled with, you know what to work on. If you focus on what really matters after losing someone in your life, you know the value of connecting with your family.
Moreover, now you know the value of time, including how quickly the days pass. In the long run, this can help you avoid wasting them more. Don’t worry, most people report that their thirties tend to be most enjoyable because they’re more mature and have a little more money in their pocket.
With this advice, we hope you can enter your thirties realizing you’re not so bad after all.