Entering into a new relationship can be thrilling and exciting. But before you hop into bed, make sure you ask those questions that have been hopping through your head. An important part of intimacy is comprehending and knowing your partner’s sexual history. Often times the subject can be stifled in relationships in fear of busting the energy or chemistry that two individuals have built up for each other. But it’s more important to know the ingredients before you get served the meal—or even worse—a not so delightful trip to the doctor’s office.
When was the last time you got tested for a sexually transmitted infection, including HIV?
Whether he’s a one-night stand or a keeper, it’s important to know your partner’s testing history to be sure of their sexual health. It also lets you know how much the individual cares about their health and the safety of others to repeatedly get tested.
Have you ever had a sexually transmitted infection? If so, which one and how was it treated?
It’s not an easy question, but it’s one that’s got to be asked. If your partner has had an STD before then be wary—it’s a tale tell sign of their sexual past. Also, the response to how they were treated will let you know whether or not you need to run for cover or if it’s safe to stay.
When was the last time you had unprotected vaginal, oral, anal sex?
Unprotected sex is connected to true intimacy, love, and trust. But some people just enjoy the thrill of the feeling. It is important to know what was going on when your partner was last engaging in unprotected sex—where they in a monogamous relationship? Was it raw with everyone?
How many partners do you currently have?
Unless your partner has promised to be exclusive to you and only you—ask. You don’t want them to spit the whole “don’t ask, don’t tell” line later on. If you do know that you or your partner are having sex with multiple partners then be sure to use protection and get tested regularly.
What happens if a pregnancy occurs?
Know your partner’s reaction to this because it will let you know how important safe sex is to them. The last thing you want is to get caught up with an individual who could care less if a pregnancy happens.
What do you consider “cheating” to be?
This is an important question that needs to be defined with partners, especially those that choose to be in exclusive or monogamous relationships. Often times, two people could be on two totally different pages when it comes to what is okay and what is not okay in a relationship. So don’t be confused. Know the answer.