It’s only when we’ve lost something, that we realize what we had in the first place. In terms of life’s most painful moments, there’s arguably nothing more damaging or hurtful than losing someone close to us. It doesn’t matter how well your life may have been going, or how stable you felt: if you experience death close to you, you will be blown off course. With the gift of distance, we can see that this is a positive thing: it shows that humans are a caring species. But we don’t have the gift of distance when it happens immediately.
In this post, we’re going to look at a handful of tips that’ll help you to get through it.
Go Easy On Yourself
As we mentioned above, it’s impossible to take the death of a loved one in your stride. You’ll be blown off course. In the days and weeks after the death, it’s important that you go easy on yourself. You should be your priority. Forget work, forget your friends, forget being strong for other people. Now’s the time to think about what you need, and do it.
Remember the Good Times
It’s easy to lose yourself in the pain that your loved one has gone, and that you’ll never see them again. That’s going to sting for a while. It’ll be the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning. But when you’re able to control your thoughts, try to guide them in a more positive direction. You will have shared plenty of happy moments with your loved one. They’ll have taught you a lot, you’ll have shared laughs and touching moments. Keep those things close to your heart and mind — it’ll help to place a smile in between the moments of tears.
Handle the Essentials
It’s unlikely that you’re going to be doing too much by way of working or socializing in the weeks after the death of a loved one. You won’t want to do those things. However, it’s important that you’re keeping yourself busy. Your mind is unlikely to be your best friend at the moment, so it’s a good idea to look at distracting yourself with other tasks. There’ll be a funeral to arrange. If the death was unexpected and caused by someone else, then you could talk to a wrongful death lawyer. You’ll also need to go through the process of sorting through their belongings and discussing their will if there is one.
Surround Yourself With Love
Remember that you’re not the only person mourning the death of a loved one. Your family and friends will be too. Surround yourself with them, even if you don’t feel like socializing. There’s a lot of power in having everyone together, sharing the grief. If you find that your family isn’t the best group for you to be to feel better, then don’t feel obliged to stay with them, however. In the weeks after a death, you should be wherever you feel the most love.