Matchmaking is a practice that has been around for thousands of years. Yet, in modern society, it has become viewed with some suspicion, if not outright disapproval. But is modern matchmaking the same now as it has been practiced around the world throughout history? There are fundamental differences between traditional matchmaking and its modern equivalent, which explains why modern matchmaking is on the rise.
Matchmaking in the past
Traditional matchmaking was about setting up a good match not only for the bride and groom but also, and maybe more so, for the families of the couple to be wed. It assured financial resources and whatever level of power was retained within a class, clan, or family. It was geared towards maintaining order and class.
This is not to say that there weren’t compassionate matchmakers who probably took consideration of the compatibility and likelihood of happiness between the couple being wedded. However, this was not the primary aim, and as is often seen around the world, the idea was, the wedded couple would in the fullness of time, just learn to love each other.
Consent was rarely sought from the couple to be wed, the agency to act on their own behalf was not a factor that needed to be considered. It was the duty of the chosen to dutifully obey, be grateful, and trust that their interests were being taken care of. This is probably one of the strongest reasons why traditional matchmaking is so incompatible with modern values. It fundamentally overrides our value of self-determination in a matter as important as who we spend the rest of our lives with as a partner.
Modern matchmaking (and there are many matchmaking companies out there) is fundamentally different in that the person who initiates the search is the person who seeks to be partnered. It is precisely for the individual, not the family, clan, or even for the good of society. As such, there is no sense of a violation of individual rights, no one is being unwillingly forced into a union that might make them miserable for the rest of their lives.
When you hire a matchmaker, you set the criteria of what you’re looking for and the matchmaker is there to cater to your most important desires and requirements. On the whole, most professionals who do take up these services are looking for people who have some financial security. But there’s a raft of other characteristics and traits that you can ask your matchmaker to look for that align personality, lifestyle, and aspiration to something you believe will make you happy.
Why is it booming?
Modern life just doesn’t give us the time or energy to continually learn, live, and emotionally invest in people, over and over again until we happen upon the right one. Today we use hundreds of different services, directly or not, to live our most desired lives. Modern matchmaking is not the same as banking or hiring an Uber ride, of course, it’s much more personal and serious. But like other services, we choose to use, it fundamentally is our choice to engage in, and we are now very much in the driving seat.