Interracial dating is both common and eye opening — but some folks are just not ready for that. There are black men who are not comfortable dating inside their race. This is a fact. Some black women become upset over this factor without fully understanding why. In this case, you meet a black man who has never dated a black woman and he already has his own preconceived notions about you because of your smooth dark complexion. How do you deal?
When we hear that someone has never experienced particular things we immediately want to change their life and show them how incredible it is. Dating a person who does not have the same experience as you is a challenge. You have to remember that they do not know as much as you do and baby steps need to be taken. When it comes to dating particular races, it is a bigger challenge because of the stereotypes and labels society creates.
Men who claim they do not date black women have their reasons, just as much as everyone has their personal preferences over who they chose to like. I asked a few of my guy friends what makes them turn the other way when black girls try to get their attention. Some black men find it a bit easier dating other races because of personalities and looks. They claim there are black women who are loud, intimidating, aggressive, and have a bad attitude. Some men are also attracted to lighter skinned women with finer, natural hair other than loveable weaves. Men forget that there is a vast amount of black women surfacing as powerful and successful women and looks are not everything. The biggest conclusion from black men? Black women just aren’t willing to “get down and dirty”. Sex is very important to the black male mind – a woman that isn’t willing to put out will be … well, put out.
When you discover your love interest has never dated black women like yourself, the most you can do is ask yourself if you are up for the challenge. The most you can do is show him that you are worth getting to know. If he’s attracted to you, then find out his reasons for not dating black women in the past and why he’s finally decided to turn the other cheek. You don’t want to end up being someone’s one-time fantasy fulfillment or be in a relationship with a man who feels like he’s doing you a favor. Don’t chase a man who is only willing to chase snow bunnies. If he’s not into you, dump his ignorant behind and move on.
However, if he is (or if he’s one of those guys who cough cough “don’t discriminate”) then prove to him that you’re worth it and that all his stereotypical thoughts of black women are wrong. If he feels black women are loud and obnoxious, show him how calm and collected you are during chaotic situations. If he assumes black women are only after money, you can demonstrate how independent you are. If he is reciprocating interest, the most you can do is continue to pace yourself and him by going with the flow slowly.
Hearing that men do not date black women is outrageous because as women we often ask ourselves what other girls have that we do not. If you do meet someone who tells you he does not date black women, you do not have to get upset or angry right away. If you are curious you can ask why and move forward. Some women have enough courage and spunk to change a man’s mind and prove his preference was all-wrong! If you know you can do this, by all means, accept the challenge.
