With everything currently going on, especially with the coronavirus pandemic, now is not the time to be losing healthy relationships. Whether it is that of your family, spouse, children, friends, romantic partner, or any other loved ones, you need to have healthy relationships around you, even if you consider yourself a loner – everybody needs somebody. Unfortunately, even with the best intentions, certain habits can end up sabotaging your relationships without you knowing. It could be those ‘harmless’ jokes that make your partner feel uncomfortable or your inability to take anything seriously. So, are your relationships turning sour? Do you feel like the ones you love always end up walking away from you? Find out if you are sabotaging your relationships with these habits.
Writing off others’ feelings
People react differently to situations. And the fact that you find nothing to get too emotional about a particular situation does not mean others should feel the same. One of the most typical mistakes most people make in their relationships is a failure to acknowledge the validity of other people’s feelings. Is this something you think you often do? You may not understand why your partner, friend, or family member feels a particular way about an issue. But that does not mean you should not acknowledge those feelings. So, instead of writing off how they feel with words like “you shouldn’t be sad about this,” try saying, “I respect how you feel, even if I feel differently.” Also, give the person a chance to communicate their feelings, and even if you don’t take them seriously, don’t make fun or joke about them.
Subtly trying to change the other person
You can expect someone to change with time, but you cannot make anyone jettison their fundamental character traits. Many people are willing to make change sacrifices for those they love, but even they don’t happen overnight. Plus, they make those changes out of their own will. When you start trying to change others to suit you (even subtly), you risk sabotaging your relationship with the person, even if they’re unaware of your intentions. Plus, this will only end in resentment and frustration on both sides. The best you can do is accept the other person and their ‘flaws’ and appreciate the differences. If you find that too difficult, you’re better off letting them go.
Being overly pessimistic
Most people confuse being pessimistic for being ‘real.’ And believe it, or negativity always promotes negative energy in any relationship, leading to emotional stress. It is essential to be realistic, but it is equally necessary to be optimistic about issues. Choosing to be pessimistic about everything around you may make it difficult to hang around or be with you. Instead of breeding negative energy around you, find ways to promote positive and lighten up your soul. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to try reading Albert Einstein thoughts on imagination – see if you could pick a few hints on how to imagine positively.
Being on your phone all the time
You’ve been locked up in your home all day; you’re bored, your phone keeps you company – that’s understandable, but not when your partner needs your attention. Most people seem to be unable to stay away from their phones for even a day. But being glued to it when you’re having a conversation with friends, family, or your partner is just a no-no. Even without meaning to, you may be sending the wrong impression that those around you are not your priority. Even worse, some people may not react to such behaviors, but they draw their own conclusions.
Not showing appreciation, even for the ‘little things’
A habit of gratitude is a strong foundation for any healthy relationship. And when couples especially lack in this area, they always run the risk of hurting feelings or taking each other for granted. Of course, you may feel that your husband or wife is ‘supposed to’ do one thing or another; and some even use the term “roles,” “duties,” and “responsibilities.” But these shouldn’t be an excuse not to show gratitude for what your partner does, even if it is their duty, or no matter how small that thing is. And it’s not enough to wait for special occasions to express your gratitude. Each day is a chance to say thank you and mean it.
Bottling up your emotions
Bottling up your emotions, harboring resentments, and keeping score are the surest and fastest ways to cause your relationships to implode, not to mention your health. Plus, it’s just plain immature. Being open and honest about your feelings is a true sign of maturity and the first step in promoting healthy relationships. Bottling your emotions can cause you to keep tabs on your partner, keep score, and resent them. Worse of all, you may even be wrong with the conclusions that drove your emotions.