There Is No ‘Fair Trade’ in Relationships

By Jessica Smith

Okay ladies, let’s just be real. First with ourselves and then with each other…we have got to put more thought into our hearts and who we choose to give them to. From young, feisty and fresh to older, sophisticated and seasoned we love our men. Yes! We adore and support our strong black brothers and want to be the number one girl in their lives whether we have to battle relatives or ex-girlfriends for the spot.

Now I’m not scolding anyone for wanting love—we were created to do just that. But what I’m seeing is that we often put everything on the table only to realize we’ve been scammed. We then move on to the next man not realizing he’s playing the same game and it happens all over. We all know what’s next—bitter, enraged…mad black women. Men become our enemy. We make sure we give them hell. We die alone.

Now you do know it doesn’t have to be this way? Our hearts and our bodies are all we have. If we don’t cherish them who will? Sistahs we have got to stop giving away our most valuable possessions for counterfeit affairs. All blame for our mistakes is not because of the down low or just plain old low down dirty brothers. We are adults as well. We have the ability to make correct and sensible decisions for ourselves therefor we hold a percentage of the responsibility.

Our “love”, “virtue”, “heart” or whatever else you would like to call it is meant to be saved for a respectable, honorable marriage with the intention of fulfilling ALL vows until death do you part. Instead of this boring, old fashion tradition we jump into relationships before they can correctly develop and give our heart and love to the wrong man for a few months of attention or years of broken promises.

We have to realize that although our motives may be pure the other party’s may not. We trade our heart or at least what we think is only “pieces” of it—not recognizing that whether whole hearted or half-hearted we can  never get it back—for a lifetime of disease, bitterness and hurt.

Black women are leading in statistics with contraction of the HIV/AIDS virus. Some of the women in these statistics are results of an uncontrollable situation and others from making careless trades. We give away our heart forever in turn for a deadly disease that will last forever. When this trade was first thought of I’m pretty sure that the suggested or predicted outcomes were not of those mentioned.

News flash: it never is. You can never be too safe. My suggestion: Guard your heart at all cost because true love will wait.


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