“I” and “am” are the two most powerful words in describing and defining who you are. Everyone has that one thought that ignites the wildfire of negative self talk. Thoughts are powerful and they lead to amazing manifestations; however, negative thoughts can produce a not so positive reality as well. Now is the time to clean up the dirty conversations that you have with yourself and that will lead you to make room for the things that you do want in life. Everything begins with a thought and eventually leads into your words and actions. Here are a few ways to stop “hating on yourself” and end negative self-talk for good.
1) Sit still and relax
When the opening dialogue of negative self talk starts, take the time to sit and assess what made that thought come along. Was it fear? Discomfort? Nervousness? Pinpoint the root of that thought and understand that feeling. Take the time to relax and dedicate 5 to 10 minutes to just do nothing. If you feel a negative thought coming on, counter it by making yourself aware of how good you feel in your relaxation at that moment. That feeling of peace is more blissful than that of the negative dialogue that is going on in your mind. I’m not saying that negative thoughts will stop coming altogether, but with time the choice in choosing to take a few moments to truly silence your mind will come naturally.
2) Change your perspective and tone of the day
Let’s say you hate your job (we hope you’re working somewhere that makes you happy). You wake up by the sound of the alarm clock, remembering that you have to go spend majority of your day at this place that you really despise. That first thought coupled with a deep-seated hatred for your job sets the tone of your day for negativity. Try a new approach, girl! Say it with me:“I appreciate my job for what it provides. I will do all I can today to be grateful for what I do have and make moves to make a joyful future for myself.” Statements like this inspire hope and confidence that you will move beyond this temporary circumstance. You are speaking in the affirmative about that of which you do want. Better will come if you build a mindset that knows you will get better. Nothing great comes to a negative thinker.
3) Change What You Listen To
Love and Hip Hop, Basketball Wives, and Real Housewives are entertaining to watch but are also usually filled with negative concepts. We all love a good twerk session, but Future is not conducive to alleviating the negative self-talk that you have with yourself. Try surrounding yourself with things that will uplift you. I like The Secret, which is a movie about the Law of Attraction, and uplifting music.
Whether you are listening intently or not, your subconscious is taking in the sounds and imagery around you. By listening to uplifting content you will be able to change the conversations that you are having with yourself. Create a playlist of feel good music, lectures, sermons, or inspirational videos that align you with the vision that you’d like to have of yourself.
4) Talk To Someone Who Is Unbiased
One of the most difficult things is actually speaking to someone about what we are authentically thinking about ourselves. When we begin to get overwhelmed with our own negative self-talk, it is not uncommon to turn to a loved one and ask their opinion. Because they love us, they will not provide us with the raw truth that we need. I suggest talking to a counselor or spiritual leader. No, it is not crazy for you to seek professional or spiritual help. Someone that doesn’t know you personally can see things from a different perspective because they have no emotional ties to you. You will have to be extremely honest and transparent about the details of these talks and what experiences you’ve had that brought a negative thought about whatever circumstances that you are facing.
The most effective way for me to reroute my negative thinking is by taking it out at the gym. It is a energy booster and it allows you to quickly manifest what you want to get done. For example, if your goal is to do ten minutes on the treadmill, you intentionally set that goal and push yourself to do 10 minutes until your manifestation comes to fruition. It may be small, but it works. And if you can push yourself to do a workout, you can push yourself to do many other things. When you constantly put yourself in a mindset that you can do something, it will happen.
Be aware and sensitive to what you are thinking and don’t allow it to continue to become a habit. As a human being, we have the power to choose our thoughts. Don’t allow your mind to be on auto-pilot mode. You are enough! You are great! You are beautiful! You are deserving of great things! I know that it seems hard stop the negative chit-chat you have with yourself, but as you do it daily, it gets easier.