It was typically spouted out of the mouths of our parents, siblings, aunties or the mean girl in school who liked to tell secrets in front of other people’s faces. And if you heard “Mind ya business!” outside of those people and often you were probably just really nosey. How many of us went ahead and refused to mind our own business? I’m going to guess based on the massive amount of people unable to mind their business currently, most of us didn’t mind our business back then. The thing is, no matter when our noses were in other people’s business there was never really a positive outcome that came from it. Did learning someone else’s business ever make us better or bring us joy? Sneakily learning someone’s secret gives you nothing but a burden or information to hurt that someone. Or even finding out that bad karma made its way back to someone who wronged us doesn’t bring us happiness it brings us memories of why that person deserved the bad karma.
So, if minding other people’s business doesn’t bring us joy what does it bring? While it can bring sadness and pain it mainly brings us distractions. If we can focus on someone else’s opinions, secrets, or business it can distract us from focusing on ourselves and becoming more self-aware. That’s probably why gossip pages and reality TV do so well because for hours on end we can form opinions and feelings towards someone else’s “issues” so we don’t have to focus on our own. Naturally we fear focusing on the things that impact us like how we feel about our current job situation, how our significant other’s actions are exposing insecurities, or getting our business idea off of the ground. Our issues are daunting and don’t bring much immediate gratification. The thing about it is once we start to mind our business and face our fears, we realize that they are not as horrible as they seemed, and our lives are better off after pouring into ourselves. Here’s how minding our business can pay off in multiple areas of our lives.
When we are wrapped up in the minds, drama and opinions of others we don’t leave any time for ourselves. We feed off of other people’s energy instead of recognizing that we control how we act and react to situations. That control however, takes us recognizing when we are emotional and why. When we take a moment to evaluate our emotions and define them, we are able to determine how we want outside factors and other people to impact us. Upon minding our business, we will no longer allow ourselves to become sad, angry, or distracted by other people’s preferences or life choices that do not affect our lives.
Our True Desires
Often times without having pause to develop self-awareness we can find ourselves unsure about what we truly want for our lives. That’s probably why we are so easily distracted because we don’t have a clear direction. This might show up in the form of overextending ourselves for others and expecting them to reciprocate actions giving us the justification of minding how other people move in their lives in conjunction with ours. We tend to latch onto what other people are doing and comparing our lives to theirs because we haven’t determined where we want to go. When we pour into ourselves and become self-aware we can then start to really move towards what we want in the end and can focus on the road ahead instead of rubber necking at the accidents on the side.
Most of us claim to have a lot of passions or no passion at all, but deep down we know what our passion is. We all have things that we enjoy, gifts, and ideal lifestyles that we want to live. Most people who have determined their passion have taken the time to really think about all of those factors about themselves. They minded their business and looked within. When we skirt around that process, we end up with degrees in fields we couldn’t care less about, in jobs that we dread going to, and around people who feel the same way we do. Stuck on a dead-end road. Mind your business! The business that will get you to the root of who you are, what you are meant to do, and who you are meant to be.
How many times are we going to look through their phone? At what point are we going to realize that while we might be in a relationship with someone, they still have business of their own. And it’s been proven time and time again that what’s done in the dark will always come to light, without you having to finding it. when we become self-aware and empowered from minding our own business, we attract people who are the same. You will attract those who have integrity, loyalty and respect for you because you have that for yourself. Understanding our emotions will give us the gumption to have an open conversation about how we feel with our partners, friends, family or whoever else is in our lives. Mind the business of the boundaries you want to set for yourself and how you want people to treat you in your life. That redirected focus will keep assumptions, snooping and worry at bay.
So, I’ll admit, on numerous occasions I’ve seen other women out with very expensive bags, shoes, cars and vacations and became consumed with how they may finance their lavish lifestyles. I’ll look on social media for their occupation or their significant other’s page and search for what they do. I’ll start to wonder, “why her and not me?” Until I look up an hour later and realize how unhappy and distracted I am. Maybe she can afford the things she has because she’s not wasting time wondering how other people are putting money in their pockets. I know I’m not the only one who does this, “you ain’t gotsta lie Craig!” The sooner you admit to frequently going down a rabbit hole filled with other people’s business the sooner you can realize it and get out and into your own business. We have got to understand that focusing on how other people make their money and acquire their things will not make us money but minding our business will!
Let’s spend our time focusing on how we are going to lean into our true desires, build up our passions, form our circles, and make our money. When we mind our business, we are able to really build a life of happiness instead of killing our joy with distractions and comparisons. It’s safe to say that “mind ya business” may have been heard as a banishment previously but now we can recognize it as encouragement towards living a happier more fulfilled life.
This post was guest written by coach and author Morgan Bullock. You can learn more about her here.