Being in a long-term relationship can certainly come with its challenges, not least of which is overcoming the endless stereotypes and misconceptions that can influence your emotions, thoughts, and plans for the future. Listening to your friends and family talk about all of the potential pitfalls that come with a long-term relationship can have you feeling like it’s either going to be a fairy tale or a complete nightmare.
People have a way of exaggerating in one direction or another – you’re either going to be madly in love for eternity, or you’re walking into a trap that will leave you miserable until old age. There never seems to be a realistic in-between, which is actually how things tend to go. With that said, here are seven long-term relationship myths that we all need to get over.
1. Trying Something New is Risky
Couples that are able to stay together for a long time are usually understanding of each other’s desires and needs, which prevents them from seeking those cravings elsewhere. While it might not be the recommendation you wanted to hear, bringing something new to the bedroom can be a great way to re-spark those romantic feelings. You could change things up with a sex toy or try some other spicy stuff to make things new again. Ultimately, if your relationship seems to be stagnating, spicing things up might be just what the love doctor ordered.
2. True Romance Never Fades
When you see an old couple that has been together for decades, it’s easy to think that they have a “Jack and Rose from the Titanic” sort of love. In reality, those sort of feelings might have subsided a long time ago and the romance probably has very little to do with why they’re still together. It’s important to understand the difference between love and romance.
3. Couples Only Have Eyes for Each Other
The idea that your other half only finds you attractive is obviously the most comfortable viewpoint to hold onto. Understand that human beings have thoughts of attraction that they can’t very much control, so don’t let a glance towards an attractive person ruin your day.
4. You Don’t Have to Impress Anyone
When you’ve been with someone for a long time you can start to feel like it’s okay to be yourself to the point of not caring what they think. In reality, as time goes on your partner may start to question “what they ever saw in you” if you’re not careful about staying the same person who they fell in love with initially, which can be difficult because everyone changes with time.
5. You’re Bound to Get Bored Eventually
Most people tend to assume that all long-term couples eventually become bored with each other. While that does happen sometimes, it’s certainly not a universal rule, and it can often be the exact opposite of the truth for people who have a very strong connection with one another.
6. Arguing is Bad
While arguing all the time is obviously unhealthy, the occasional dispute can actually be therapeutic for long-term couples. Sometimes you just need to give yourself the freedom of venting and raising your voice to relieve built-up tensions and suppressed emotions. On the other hand, bottling them up and waiting until you finally explode is never a good idea because the resulting outburst could wind up being relationship-changing.
7. Getting Married is Mandatory
Getting married might seem like the inevitable end result of a long-term relationship, but with many millennials and other groups rejecting the notion of the institution of marriage, this is another myth that people are going to have to move past in the 21st century.
You have to be real with yourself and your other half. Ultimately, dispelling the myths listed above is all about being honest with yourself about the way relationship dynamics work. After all, no good can come from living a lie.
Featured Image by Briona Baker