Relocating can be hard, even if it’s for the best. We leave so much familiarity behind to start new lives, which is exactly why it can be scary. As we go through these new changes, we go through situations that we wish for the comfort or advice of a close friend. Yet, in that newly furnished apartment only lies you, a few expensive throw pillows, and faux fur throw that seems to wrap you in its arms.
So, the million-dollar question is: how do we find our girl tribe in a new location? Finding friends when you get older isn’t the same as high school or college. Everyone seems to already be established with a Bauce Bunch or are too invested in the hustle and bustle of the city that they don’t have time for friends.
One of the toughest battles can be finding your girls in a city full of people you don’t know. Yet, it isn’t the world and there is a way to establish relationships within that new space.
Please, for God’s Sake, Get Out of Your Apartment
One of the best ways to meet friends are at events within the city that align with your passions. If there is a BAUCE brunch, an art gallery, an open mic night—or any social event, get out there. You can’t expect to meet people within the walls of your place. If you immerse yourself within the city and the things that it has to offer, you could meet some people who can be the perfect matches to your friendship puzzle. Attending events that peak your interests are a great way to meet new people in a space that’s familiar to you. That way, you don’t feel to out of place when speaking to others and you have common ground to connect with. Hey, the event even gives you a conversation topic to talk about when you say hello.
If you like her outfit, tell her
This is a metaphor. Of course, if you feel like she’s killing it in the fit she’s strutting down the street in, tell her. Yet, this is a call for you to speak to someone you feel could be a potential friend. Who knows? You tell her you love her shoes; she exclaims that she got them from your favorite store, and there’s an instant connection there. Don’t be afraid to go for those you feel like you can genuinely bond with. This doesn’t just go for the girl on the street, at the bar, or at the function. This can go for your co-worker that you’ve been “Ki-king” with for the past two weeks. It’s understandable to be apprehensive when it comes to letting new people into your circle, especially if you’ve been burned before. But you’ll never truly know until you’ve given them the chance.
Dating sites aren’t always for dating
Okay, I know—swiping right on Tinder for a friend can be awkward. Yet, if you’re upfront with your intentions when you first make your account, you’ll be surprised how many other people are searching for friends as well. Special situations call for special measures. While it’s always a must to use certain apps with caution, be open to finding some of the best friends of your life on them. You can’t truly knock it until you try it.
You are not alone
You must remember in these situations—you are never alone. In that knowledge, stay in hope that there is someone just like you waiting to mingle in the city. I promise you are not the “loner” who’s cursed to be alone. We’ve all been there, in a place of unfamiliarity. It’s the territory that comes with growth and becoming who you are meant to be. We have to clear out certain spaces in our lives to make room for the new blessings that are to come. Your situation is not unique, there is nothing wrong with you, and there will always be someone on the other side of the looking glass waiting for you to say, “hello.”