If your biological clock is ticking like a time bomb, going unheeded by your man, don’t fret. BAUCE has a few ideas to get him on the baby bandwagon.
Preface: We are not suggesting coercion here, that’s not healthy in any relationship. We intend these tactics to tackle the question of when to try for a baby, not if. If the two of you fundamentally disagree on children, there are deeper issues to deal with, beyond the scope of this article.
The biological clock is not just an expression, in theory it measures the time a woman’s eggs mature inside her ovaries. Women are born with a finite number of eggs. As we age, so do our eggs. And just as our bodies began to falter, so do our eggs. Women must have children before we’re too old, or not at all—our bodies know this instinctively. Do NOT use this argument when broaching the topic with your man!
We don’t need to tell you that appealing to a man’s emotional side rarely works. We’ve all been there, in tears, wondering why the hell he can’t see our side of things. Rather, approach your man as you would a business associate. You are to become partners in the baby making business, after all. Leave your emotions aside, for the time being, and rely on facts and figures, pummel him with statistics, quote a few experts, and top it off with a crass joke or two. Men love technology. In good humor and reason, give him a PowerPoint presentation, throw in some charts and graphs to really get him on board. It may also do you some good to do the research. We women tend to think with our emotions and introducing logic into the equation may help you to see through your own clouded thoughts.
If you cannot produce an infallible, logical argument, try to appeal to his ego. Revert to the classics: He must want someone to carry on his legacy, or he’d make such a good father. Just as we must surrender to the ticking of our biological clocks, men biologically have the need to pass on their legacy, their genes. The strength in these arguments comes from their scientific validity and the fact that you believe them to be true. You must, you are pleading with him to have his children. But remember not to let your emotions take reign, try to uncover his own desire for children.
The decision to have children should be logical and thoughtful. The emotions will come later. When you see two clear lines on the pee stick, when you hear his heartbeat for the first time, when you see his tiny fingers on the ultrasound, and when, after hours of shrieking pain you see his face on your chest—there will be plenty of time to emote. Rejoice in the sensibility of the decision to have children, for once that child comes, you’ll love him beyond reason and logic.
photo credit: foshydog