Should women only date men that are going to spoil them rotten with goods?
Some women certainly believe so. Some women believe that females shouldn’t waste their time dating a man unless he is more bankable than she is and at the very least can spoil her financially. This means drip her in diamonds and pearls, pay for expensive vacations to far off lands, and buy her dinners at rooftop restaurants. It matters not if his heart is as accessible as his Amex or his checkbook — only that he’s willing to measure his worth as a “good man” by how often the cash register rings for his lady.
I think this is total bullshit.
Why should a woman want a man to spoil her? Spoiling is for rich grannies with trust funds and mothers that always cook your favorite meal when you come home. Being spoiled by a man in my eyes does not equivocate to anything. Whether you are able to buy me a Rolls Royce or simply watch as the Royce rolls off the lot means nothing to me at the end of the day because as a woman I am unwilling to part with my independence and personal solvency.
Don’t women understand that if a man is financially spoiling her that with each purchase he’s building his whip and chain? If he owns (which means buys) everything that he gives you then quite frankly he owns you too.
He owns the right to spoil you and unspoil you as fast as you can spell g-o-o-d m-a-n. And as much as you may believe that he displays his worth by sending flowers to your office every morning versus nothing at all, what you fail to realize is that men like this probably don’t value you that much at all. The ideology that you can be “bought” makes you as replaceable as the toilet bowl cleaner in his bathroom. His expectation of you may be very little — cook, clean, and spread those legs — because, well, he’s making all the bread and you’re giving all the…you get what I mean.
I’d rather have a man who spoiled me with his heart than with his wallet. I’d rather have a man who was willing to write me love letters everyday or cook me his mother’s favorite recipe every now and then than a man who thinks he can secure my loyalty through a pair of Jimmy Choos (although having both would be twice as nice…right?). There is more value in a man who is willing to be a hopeless romantic than a hopeless spending machine. Because when the money dries up so will his love — or at least your belief of what it was since it’s always been measured in cash.
It’s so easy to want to drink the gold juice and only pursue men that are willing to prove how big of spenders they are. But I hope that more women will realize that their independence is more valuable then being whipped and strung along by rich men. Women don’t need to be spoiled by other men until they can spoil themselves first. Sticking to this belief surely dissuades the creepers with deep pockets and the men who simply want to whip you back in your plush easy chair and go to town after dinner each night – with no reprise.
What does a woman have to offer a man? Every gift comes with a price. If it is expected that man is the only one creating and purchasing all material things where does that leave the woman? It is true the major role of the man is to produce, create and build, while the woman is to reproduce and nurture. What happens in a society when the women refuse to reproduce (abortion) and nurture a family?