Dating as a single woman of color has been challenging, to say the least. With all the access we have to dating apps and sliding into each other’s DMs, you would think that finding a connection with someone would be easier. But the issue is not meeting a man, the issue is meeting a man with substance. A man with substance that is consistent instead of meeting men that do not make it past the first or second date. If we as women really want better dating experiences, we need to take a break from online messages. Women need to step back out into the real world to meet a man. More specifically, a high-value man. There are a variety of places that you can go to in your local city to find exactly what you’re looking for. But before we discuss the different places I mentioned, I wanted to talk to an expert first on the matter.
I was able to connect with Spicy Mari. Spicy is a Magnetic Matchmaker & Relationship Expert and founder of The Spicy Life, based on her S.P.I.C.Y. Fundamentals – Self, Passion, Intimacy, Communication and learning to say “Yes,” the key components to forming and maintaining healthy and fulfilling relationships. Spicy believes in encouraging individuals/couples to unlock the power of their passion in order to attract their purpose-mate and find love. After speaking with Spicy, she was able to really break down what is considered a high-value man and how we as women can take the first step in starting a connection with a potential partner.
What is a High-Value Man?
When we hear the term, high-value man, we can think of multiple things. Most women may think of a man who is very good-looking, makes six figures or above, and is successful professionally. While those factors are important, according to Spicy, there are other factors that women need to consider. Spicy explains,
“What society has said about this type of man is based on his income bracket or socioeconomic status. For me, I define a high-value or superior man as a man who is successful but is passionate about what he does and he has a higher level of consciousness. A superior man is working on his self-growth, emotionally intelligent, and is someone who believes in commitment.”
How To Spot a High-Value Man
It is imperative to make sure that while we would like to know what is in his bank account, a high-value man needs to be aligned spiritually and emotionally as well. But the question is, how can we separate this kind of man from the average joe? According to Spicy, it is up to women to take that next step. In society, women are used to the traditional practice of waiting for the man to approach them and take the lead in making a connection. But if we want to switch things up and upgrade our dating life, it is up to us as women to put ourselves out there, take the power back, and become the initiator. To be fair, being the initiator can be nerve-wracking. So Spicy has shared some great tips on how to engage with a man when we decide to approach them and how to determine if we have met a high-value man. Spicy says,
“When you are at a place and you see a guy, start from the basics. Make a new friend. We need to get the idea out of our minds that we are approaching our husband or soulmate. We need to go back to when we were kids and our moms would send us to the playground to make friends. It’s the same thing as adults. So, I do not recommend women only approaching men they find physically attractive. Beauty or attractiveness does not make a good partner. What makes a good partner is the compatibility factor. With that, women should be prioritizing chemistry and compatibility when identifying a superior man and talk to every man in the room or venue. When you do that, you have the opportunity to ask questions and feel the man’s energy. From there, choose the man based on the energy that you feel you got along with the best.
“Try to approach a guy with a smile, make eye contact, be warm and welcoming, and introduce yourself in a way that helps the man to let his guard down. A compliment is the easiest form of flirtation. For example, you can complement something he is wearing or how nice his smile is. From there, you can ask questions like what are his passions or when was the last time he and his guys got into some trouble. You want to make sure that the man shares a fun story versus feeling like he is in an interview. You want him to bring up positive memories about himself to make him open up and be vulnerable with you. The goal here is to see if you both have shared interests.”
Where To Find a High-Value Man
Knowing what a high-value man is and how to spot them are key to having more positive dating results. When we are able to tell a high-value man from the rest, we are more confident to make connections with men when we are in certain spaces. These certain spaces will make you more successful at finding that high-value man you want than the typical places like clubs or bars. Take a look at 7 places where you may find high-value men in your city.
Coffee shops
At coffee shops, you can meet all types of different people. A cute coffee shop in your neighborhood or in another affluent neighborhood could be a great way to meet a high-value man. If a man catches your eye and a conversation starts, a good cup of coffee or tea is something that you can bond over.
Fine-Dining Restaurants
Everyone needs to eat. So it would not be out of the ordinary to meet a high-value man at a nice restaurant enjoying a good meal. One thing about this place is that you have the choice to dine alone or with a friend. You have the choice to set the tone and maybe meet a man who can expand your food pallete.
The Gym
Men that care about their physical health are always a plus. Meeting a high-value man at a gym is a good way to understand his workout regimen and you could possibly gain a workout buddy in the end. Knowing that you and a potential partner are being disciplined about your health is a win-win situation.
Exclusive Social Clubs
Exclusive social clubs are a great way to knock out the middleman when looking for a high-value man. These kinds of social clubs are usually not open to the public, catered to career-oriented individuals, and are usually members because of an annual fee or referral program. Becoming a member of a social club can expand your network professionally as well as romantically.
Sports Events
One thing that is for sure, is that men love sports. Whether you are a sports fan or not, attending a sports event, you have a chance to meet a high-value man in a fun setting. Sports events have drinks and snacks, and it is a place where there are plenty of people to connect with.
Alumni Gatherings
This may be a place that does not come to mind, but it has been proven to work when trying to find a high-value man. Whether you attended an HBCU or PWI, you already have a connection with others who have similar educational backgrounds. Alumni events are a great way to reconnect with old friends and make new ones.
The Airport
This place is the most unexpected. But this can actually be a great opportunity to meet a high-value man that enjoys travelling just as much as you do. You can easily start a conversation with someone while waiting on a flight and learn if this man is a local or a visitor. Either way, the airport extends your reach of dating options from a local to a national level.
