Let’s face it: men are not that difficult to understand. As women, we tend to complicate matters and try to over-analyze situations and people when it’s not even necessary. Unfortunately, we allow our emotions to interfere and cloud our judgment whenever it comes to flirting. It’s hard to listen to your head when your heart is screaming.
Still feeling clueless on how to deal with the male species? No worries, we’ll simplify it for you:
1. Eye contact. This is key for everything: when you spy a cutie across the room, while you’re on a first date, or when you’re three years into a relationship. Not only should you make eye contact, but you should “smize”— smile with your eyes. Hold it for about two seconds before glancing away and then always make sure to coyly return it every now and then. This is perhaps the only non-verbal signal guys know how to read, other than…
2. Touch. Touch is powerful. It allows a new guy to know you’re interested or it re-establishes a connection between you and your significant other. When flirting, lightly touch his arm while you’re laughing at a joke. Kiss your boyfriend on the cheek, squeeze his shoulders, or give him a massage.
3. Compliments. Guys love compliments as much as we do — they just don’t admit it. Boost him up without buttering his ego. Focus on his talents rather than his physical qualities, e.g. “You’re such an eloquent speaker” rather than “I love how tall you are!” Compliments geared towards personality traits or something he’s worked will stick way longer (the only exception being a compliment about his…. you know.)
4. Play hard to get, but not impossible to get. Cliché, tired, but still so, so true. Guys don’t like easy. It’s in their biological roots. Men love the chase, and if you’re always there answering every text and call immediately, he is going to be bored and you will probably be a booty call. I’m not saying play games — I’m saying have a life. Let him know you’re interested, but you can live without him. Do this and expect him to be pounding down your door.
5. Never ever be desperate. Just never find yourself in the aforementioned position. You are a Bauce, and Bauces aren’t desperate for men. If he’s a player or a jerk, there are so many other great fish in the sea. You don’t need to deal with the shark.
6. Offer to split the check. Honestly, any decent guy will pay for the first date—but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t offer to show that you don’t need him to pay for your own. When you’re in a relationship, you should be doing a little less than half the time.
7. Keep the mystery. Keep him guessing him at times, especially if you’re newly dating, and even when you’ve been together for years. That doesn’t mean go off the grid and avoid his texts the entire day because then he might think you’re interested or with someone else. But when you’re out with your girlfriends, leave your phone in your purse and let him know what you were up to when you get home. This ties in with the whole still-have-your-life tip.
8. If you “friend zone” a guy, don’t lead him on. If you know for sure you’re not interested, don’t act like you are. Attention is addicting and a surefire ego boost, but when it gets to the point when you are taking advantage of this devoted dude, you’re no longer being a Bauce; you’re just being a b*tch. Be nice. Follow the golden rule. If you would cry about a jerk playing you like a deck of cards, don’t turn around and do it to a nice guy.
9. Pay attention to what men do, not what they say. Any guy can talk a smooth game. Any guy can tell you he’s out with his homies when he’s on the couch in anther girl’s home. Any guy can tell you he cares about you, but doesn’t hit you up until 11:30 at night. Ignore what guys say and pay attention to what you do, and you can pretty much accurately gauge what’s really going on.
10. Guys are not psychic. And thank God they aren’t. However, this means they usually don’t know what is specifically upsetting you, or that you want that charm from Tiffany’s, unless you blatantly tell him. Guys are oblivious to our complicated feelings. Kiss him and KISS him—Keep It Simple Stupid.