Facebook Twitter Instagram
    Facebook Twitter Instagram Pinterest
    BAUCE
    SUBSCRIBE
    • Hustle

      Here Are The Top 10 Websites Black Women Can Use To Find A Remote Job

      January 30, 2023

      Financial Influencer Reni The Resource Shares 8 Saving Hacks For Chronic Spenders

      January 27, 2023

      These Are The Best Companies For Black Women To Work And Build Their Career At

      January 23, 2023

      Franchise Expert Kechia Taylor Shares 5 Benefits Of Starting A Franchise Business

      January 25, 2023

      How To Create An Effective Open Enrollment Communications Strategy

      January 18, 2023
    • Believe

      What It Means to Retire as a Self-Made Woman

      January 11, 2023

      Entering Your 30s And Feeling Less Sure Of Yourself Than Ever? Consider This

      November 9, 2022

      10 Ted Talks To Help Black Women Entrepreneurs Grow Their Businesses

      October 14, 2022

      4 Ways To Set Yourself Up For Success After College

      September 29, 2022

      How To Build Your Confidence in 30 Days

      August 30, 2022
    • Earn

      How to Grow Your Investments at Home

      January 27, 2023

      5 Best Credit Cards For Black Women Entrepreneurs

      January 20, 2023

      Planning For Retirement Early Matters — Here’s Why

      January 27, 2023

      Financial Expert Octavia Conner Shares 5 Ways Women Can Prevent Foreclosures And Repossessions Amid A Recession

      January 18, 2023

      Here’s How Investing In Gold IRA Can Prevent Inflation After Your Retirement

      January 11, 2023
    • Live

      These Are The 5 Must-Have Accessories for Your Swimming Pool

      January 30, 2023

      The Difference Between Soft And Full Glam Makeup

      January 27, 2023

      6 Ways To Date While Traveling And Working Abroad

      January 26, 2023

      5 Tips for Increasing the Comfort of Your Home Office

      January 27, 2023

      The First Step: A Traveling Guide For Beginners

      January 23, 2023
    • Profiles

      The Founder of Gyrl Wonder Is Connecting Gen Z Women Of Color With Life Changing Opportunities

      February 3, 2023

      How This 28-Year-Old Made $11M From Founding Her Own E-Commerce Academy

      December 23, 2022

      How Aysia Hilliard, Founder of Trapstix, Leveraged TikTok To Accelerate Her Business’ Growth

      November 29, 2022

      Meet Kelley Jamison Who Is Opening The 1st All Black And Woman Owned Adoption Agency

      November 28, 2022

      Here’s How Beth Smith Redesigned Her Life: From Corporate CPA To Top Interior Designer For Home Goods

      November 27, 2022
    • About
      • Advertise
      • Jobs
      • Contact
    BAUCE
    Commentary

    Tuning Others Out to Hear Yourself

    By BauceMay 7, 20124 Mins Read
    Share
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email

    By Valerie-Jean Charles

    I’ve been in an emotional rut for a while now. Some would call this a quarter life crisis, but I’d prefer to call it Valerie’s Time of Reflection. Feeling lost and even depressed, I’ve pulled out every self-help book I could get my hands on. I’m not a die-hard supporter of self-titled life gurus telling others how to live their lives, but I felt that maybe someone’s inspirational jargon could rekindle my dwindling inner flame . Up until last week, none of them were doing the trick. I wasn’t here for writers telling me to “follow my bliss” and all that other Oprah and Deepak Chopra-esque stuff. I felt as if I followed my bliss, only to end up in a place that feels one-couch-more-comfortable than Hades’ underworld.

    I bought Kelly Cutrone’s “If you Have To Cry Go Outside – And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You” on a whim last year when Border’s was going out of business. I had been a fan of Cutrone’s no nonsense attitude on her one-season Bravo show, Kell On Earth, and figured her book would be a cheap, easy read filled with her brashness and classic one-liners ( i.e. “I work in fashion because the world is such a heavy place that I need to be in this industry that fights for five hours to get a dress.”) It honestly is one of the best purchases I’ve made. I am by no way endorsing Cutrone’s book to everyone. Her approach is very direct, and I’m pretty sure her new-age views on religion would be more than most can handle. However, I do believe that many things she has written in the book can be super beneficial to many people.

    A particular statement that has stuck with me is the following:

    You’ll find as you set out after your dreams that most people don’t really want you to transcend the situation that you were born into. Perhaps they are scared for you, perhaps they don’t believe in you, or perhaps they’re just nasty, negative naysayers. Whichever it is, I advise you to stop sharing your dreams with people who try to hold you back, even if they’re your parents. (pg. 17)

    Such simple, yet profound statements. As much as we love to convince ourselves and others that we are proactive in choosing our friends and support teams, I believe we’re really not. Let’s face it, unless something traumatic happens (like your best friend seducing your boyfriend) we usually tend to stick with the people we have, keeping them around even if they are anything but supportive of us. And in doing so, we allow their negative energies to infiltrate our systems clouding our judgements and voices of reason.

    How many times have most of us shared our deepest life passions with a friend or family member, only to hear them say something along the lines of “uh…are you crazy? You can’t do that. You’re not good enough.”? I’m a betting woman, so I’d say too many times. Allowing those with such pessimistic views on what moves and inspires us, tends to take us off the course that we know we should be on.

    Looking back, I know I am in my rut because I have allowed the voices of others to speak over my own, hence pushing me down a road I know I should not be on. At first, I felt ashamed about this, thinking that I am too strong and determined to have let this happen. But, with careful reflection I realize that this is a life lesson that many of us have to learn — one of those trials by fire. Now that my shame has subsided, I am allowing myself time to be still and listen to myself — figure out my needs and wants. Being still and listening to ones self is definitely the first step towards living the life that one needs and deserves.

    Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email Reddit WhatsApp
    Previous ArticleRestoring the Faith
    Next Article Styling Your Leggings
    mm
    Bauce

    Bauce is a lifestyle site for the self-made woman. We provide empowering, informative, and entertaining content to help ambitious millenial women reach their goals, look fly, and stay confident. BAUCE is not just a publication -- it's a lifestyle.

    Related Posts

    What Makes Automated Software Testing Results More Reliable Than Manual Testing?

    June 22, 2022

    4 Vital Technologies You Need to Keep Spare Batteries

    March 29, 2022

    Advocates in Academia: Approaches to Black History at the University Level and Beyond

    February 27, 2022
    View 2 Comments

    2 Comments

    1. Pingback: Tuning Others Out to Hear Yourself | Hurt2Healing Magazine

    2. Pingback: Tuning Others Out to Hear Yourself | Resolution for Real People

    Leave A Reply Cancel Reply

    Your Go-To Resources

    How To Truly Break The Cycle of Debt

    It’s Time To Stop Sleeping On Your Credit Score, Sis – Here’s Why

    These Are 15 of the Highest Paying Careers To Pursue

    15 Good Jobs That Women Can Do From Anywhere Without Experience

    Here’s How To Trick Yourself Into Saving More Money

    Facebook Twitter Instagram Pinterest
    • Advertise
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact
    • Jobs
    © 2023 BAUCE MEDIA LLC

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.