Think

Tuning Others Out to Hear Yourself

By Valerie-Jean Charles

I’ve been in an emotional rut for a while now. Some would call this a quarter life crisis, but I’d prefer to call it Valerie’s Time of Reflection. Feeling lost and even depressed, I’ve pulled out every self-help book I could get my hands on. I’m not a die-hard supporter of self-titled life gurus telling others how to live their lives, but I felt that maybe someone’s inspirational jargon could rekindle my dwindling inner flame . Up until last week, none of them were doing the trick. I wasn’t here for writers telling me to “follow my bliss” and all that other Oprah and Deepak Chopra-esque stuff. I felt as if I followed my bliss, only to end up in a place that feels one-couch-more-comfortable than Hades’ underworld.

I bought Kelly Cutrone’s “If you Have To Cry Go Outside – And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You” on a whim last year when Border’s was going out of business. I had been a fan of Cutrone’s no nonsense attitude on her one-season Bravo show, Kell On Earth, and figured her book would be a cheap, easy read filled with her brashness and classic one-liners ( i.e. “I work in fashion because the world is such a heavy place that I need to be in this industry that fights for five hours to get a dress.”) It honestly is one of the best purchases I’ve made. I am by no way endorsing Cutrone’s book to everyone. Her approach is very direct, and I’m pretty sure her new-age views on religion would be more than most can handle. However, I do believe that many things she has written in the book can be super beneficial to many people.

A particular statement that has stuck with me is the following:

You’ll find as you set out after your dreams that most people don’t really want you to transcend the situation that you were born into. Perhaps they are scared for you, perhaps they don’t believe in you, or perhaps they’re just nasty, negative naysayers. Whichever it is, I advise you to stop sharing your dreams with people who try to hold you back, even if they’re your parents. (pg. 17)

Such simple, yet profound statements. As much as we love to convince ourselves and others that we are proactive in choosing our friends and support teams, I believe we’re really not. Let’s face it, unless something traumatic happens (like your best friend seducing your boyfriend) we usually tend to stick with the people we have, keeping them around even if they are anything but supportive of us. And in doing so, we allow their negative energies to infiltrate our systems clouding our judgements and voices of reason.

How many times have most of us shared our deepest life passions with a friend or family member, only to hear them say something along the lines of “uh…are you crazy? You can’t do that. You’re not good enough.”? I’m a betting woman, so I’d say too many times. Allowing those with such pessimistic views on what moves and inspires us, tends to take us off the course that we know we should be on.

Looking back, I know I am in my rut because I have allowed the voices of others to speak over my own, hence pushing me down a road I know I should not be on. At first, I felt ashamed about this, thinking that I am too strong and determined to have let this happen. But, with careful reflection I realize that this is a life lesson that many of us have to learn — one of those trials by fire. Now that my shame has subsided, I am allowing myself time to be still and listen to myself — figure out my needs and wants. Being still and listening to ones self is definitely the first step towards living the life that one needs and deserves.

2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Pingback: Tuning Others Out to Hear Yourself | Hurt2Healing Magazine

  2. Pingback: Tuning Others Out to Hear Yourself | Resolution for Real People

Go ahead, boo. Tell us what you think.

To Top
ARE YOU READY? GET IT NOW!
Increase more than 500% of Email Subscribers!
Your Information will never be shared with any third party.
SUBSCRIBE TO NEWSLETTER
Turpis dis amet adipiscing hac montes odio ac velit? Porta, non rhoncus vut, vel, et adipiscing magna pulvinar adipiscing est adipiscing urna. Dignissim rhoncus scelerisque pulvinar?
GET IT NOW
500% MORE SUBSCRIBERS
EFFICIENCY
BOOST YOUR SALES
CREATIVITY
INSPIRE YOUR VISITORS
BE UNIQUE
CREATE UNIQUE POPUPS
READY TO BUILD YOUR EMPIRE LIKE A BAUCE?
Sorry, we only roll with all-stars.
Sign up for our free newsletter to get the motivation and resources you need to become a self-made woman. We put you on to the best info out there. For real.
Your Information will never be shared with any third party. Promise.
SUBSCRIBE TO NEWSLETTER
All rights reserved © Company Name, 2014
Dolor aliquet augue augue sit magnis, magna aenean aenean et! Et tempor, facilisis cursus turpis tempor odio, cursus montes ac turpis. Ultrices! Massa integer augue ridiculus adipiscing, massa cras pid. Turpis placerat scelerisque, vut odio mus non, mattis porttitor, nunc odio, turpis tortor sit? Pid amet, sed facilisis.
  • Goblinus globalus fantumo tandempo
  • Scelerisque cursus dignissim donus
  • Montes vutario lacus quis arcupolisio
  • Leftomato denitro oculus tepircos den
  • Spiratio dodenus christmas popupius
  • Afrenius globalus spiritum tandempo
  • Fitatos vutario lacus quis arcup delis
Do you want massive traffic?
Dignissim enim porta aliquam nisi pellentesque. Pulvinar rhoncus magnis turpis sit odio pid pulvinar mattis integer aliquam!
  • Goblinus globalus fantumo tubus dia montes
  • Scelerisque cursus dignissim lopatico vutario
  • Montes vutario lacus quis preambul den lacus
  • Leftomato denitro oculus softam lorum quis
  • Spiratio dodenus christmas gulleria tix digit
  • Dualo fitemus lacus quis preambul pat turtulis
* we never share your e-mail with third parties.
Do you want more traffic?
Dignissim enim porta aliquam nisi pellentesque. Pulvinar rhoncus magnis turpis sit odio pid pulvinar mattis integer aliquam!
  • Goblinus globalus fantumo tubus dia montes
  • Scelerisque cursus dignissim lopatico vutario
  • Montes vutario lacus quis preambul den lacus
  • Leftomato denitro oculus softam lorum quis
  • Spiratio dodenus christmas gulleria tix digit
  • Dualo fitemus lacus quis preambul pat turtulis
  • Scelerisque cursus dignissim lopatico vutario
  • Montes vutario lacus quis preambul den lacus
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER AND START INCREASING YOUR PROFITS NOW!
* we never share your e-mail with third parties.
Do you want massive traffic?
Scelerisque augue ac hac, aliquet, nascetur turpis. Augue diam phasellus odio lorem integer, aliquam aliquam sociis nisi adipiscing hacac.
  • Goblinus globalus fantumo tubus dia
  • Scelerisque cursus dignissim lopatico
  • Montes vutario lacus quis preambul
  • Leftomato denitro oculus softam lorum
  • Spiratio dodenus christmas gulleria tix
  • Dualo fitemus lacus quis preambul bela
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBzcmM9Imh0dHA6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vZW1iZWQvajhsU2NITzJtTTAiIGZyYW1lYm9yZGVyPSIwIiBhbGxvd2Z1bGxzY3JlZW4+PC9pZnJhbWU+
* we never share your details with third parties.
ARE YOU READY? GET IT NOW!
Increase more than 500% of Email Subscribers!
Your Information will never be shared with any third party.
WANT TO LEARN THE SECRETS TO MAKING MORE MONEY?
Sorry, we only roll with all-stars.
Join our mailing list to get access to weekly money-making tips and motivational messages, and key resources that will transform you into a self-made woman.
Your Information will never be shared with any third party. Promise.
The Mockup World.
This is Photoshop's version of Lorem Ipsum. Proin gravida nibh vel velit auctor aliquet. Aenean sollicitudin, lorem quis bibendum auctor, nisi elit consequat ipsum.
2017 (C) All rights reserved.
JOIN OUR CREW.*
BAUCE is a lifestyle site for self-made women. Join our mailing list for weekly emails that will help you boost your income, motivate you, and transform your life.