In life, it often seems that we do not learn our most valuable lessons until we struggle through hardships and pain. It is in those times that our hearts are broken, trust betrayed, or when friends are lost that we finally put our big girl panties on and begin to start loving ourselves the way we should. Out goes the idea of putting ourselves last and in comes the abundance of love and respect we need to become the desirable feminine woman of our dreams.
These six poems were written by Shamecca Farrow and highlight several of the topics we outlined above. Take a quick read and let us know if you can relate to the message that these poems illuminate about our relationships with lovers, friends and ourselves.
She said
She said
How can I love you when I can hardly love myself
I was never taught love or even self respect
My father failed my household.
I only known what I seen
And that’s a abusive father, and a mother to weak to leave
I don’t know how to love but I know how it feels to be used
I’m just learning how to pray, So I’m praying not to confuse the two
I don’t deserve this goodness
That’s why I have this wall up
I asked why you’ve never asked about my past
You told me “it doesn’t matter”
that’s something I’ve never heard,
all those other boys would’ve choose the latter
Why are you so good to me when I’m not good to myself?
The only love I’ve ever seen was in fairytales and movies
Smiling through the pain,
adjusting to the rough that’s my everyday routine.
Thanking God he made me tough.
But with you, you told me I don’t have to be
Told me let my guard down,
let’s pray,
bended knee.
I think I found my king.
And you have loved me into a queen.
Dear friend, who really wasn’t
Dear friend who really wasn’t,
I appreciate the long nights and the listening ear, but you are no longer needed . So when I say what I’m about to say don’t take it too hard because it’s definitely not you…it’s me. It’s me who has grown up and it’s you who has stayed the same. Once upon a time I felt we needed each other, this was true but it seems I was using you as a crutch. And what I failed to realize was that I was strong by myself. We had a good run and had some great fun . But I will not allow you to take me down with you. I tried to keep you afloat and you grabbed onto me tight. I have to let go to save myself. I will cherish some memories and the others I shall burn. Thank you for being there when I needed you.
Sincerely,
a stranger.
The unknown
That thing that make you want to scream into the distance at the top of your lungs
That thing that fuels the void you have and you don’t know who, what, or why it has come to be
Your spirit quivers because of if
Your legs tremble out of suspense
Every waking second is a mystery
Life as you know it may as well end
You become a slave to your thoughts
But a master to fear
Your mind is what keeps you pushing.
The unknown is almost always there.
The process
What used to be sadness has turned into rage
And now back into sadness.
I thought I’d get over it.
But I haven’t
I thought time would heal these wounds
But they’re still weeping blood
I am drowning in a sea of what used to be.
I would call for closure but that would only stir up more questions
Like “why her and not me?”
“Why wasn’t I good enough?”
“Did you even care at all?”
I prayed over it and I knew it had to end
But why does it have to hurt so freaking bad?
My friends who don’t understand tell me to get over you
But they don’t understand it’s not you that needs getting over.
It’s the time I’ve spent
Energy I’ve wasted
Along with memories.
Like the ones with you between my legs
Or the ones with you telling me you loved me …
“Did you ever really love me?”
Nvm I’ll just count that as one of your lies.
I wish mirrors showed people’s intention and not just beauty on the outside.
Loving myself
Loving myself
Loving you
I couldn’t do both
So now I’m loving you
Cause you said you you loved me
Knowing you only loved my sex
Knowing you was only after wealth
Knowing for me you had no respect
So I’m sitting here in distress
Thinking of myself as less
All because I couldn’t love myself …..
Closure
Initially you would think it was a loss
But eternally I’ve realized this is actually a blessing
I have found peace in the fact that it was never meant to be
I have found closure in the my past with you
God he changed my perception of life
I had to let go.
2 Comments
That was awesome. An absolute pleasure to read and completely relatable.
Going through all of these energies simultaneously and this was a great healer to those wounds a few have left behind. I needed this. Merci