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    Live

    Stuck in a Crappy Relationship? How Your Male Friend Will Become Something More

    By Vanessa WalkerDecember 3, 20124 Mins Read
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    black-woman-crying-with-man-touching-shoulder-e1321441352955When you’re single and free it feels like we can never manage to attract the right guy or get any attention. But then when the ball and chain is locked all the men in the world who want us emerge. It seems that men desire us even more when they see women in a committed relationship. It can be flattering and inviting, but you have to remember why you placed yourself in a relationship in the first place. Having a wondering eye is not fair to the lover that is staying faithful to you.

    Even though at times it might be a bit fun. Cat-purr.

    Every relationship has a weak spot that can make or break it and the men who want to break it will prey on you during the rough-and-tumbles. Constant arguing, not seeing eye-to-eye, or being unsupportive in some way can cause some females to look elsewhere for comfort. Some single guys take advantage of seeing their crush go through hard times.

    When you need a shoulder to cry on or need time to release some anger, the guy who is interested will see that he is the one you call. Once he catches you at a vulnerable state, he may try to place moves on you. These moves can be physical, emotional, and or mental. Guys know women are that are more emotional are easier to trap; they will get in your head through intimate conversations.

    The infamous line “we can just be friends…you aren’t allowed to have friends?” is the basis of this construct for most men that prey on vulnerable women in broken relationships. Of course you can be friends but if he is staring at you hungrily how does he suddenly just want to be friends? Not all guys are out to get in your panties, but if he is so caught up getting to know you without respecting your lover, then he isn’t respecting you.

    True, there are some guys out there who truly just want to be friends and nothing more. But that is something you have to judge on your own. The first impression always tells you the most about someone. If you let a guy know you are in a serious relationship and they persist to get those digits, then they do not really care about you as a committed person. Men are more competitive than women and see a rivalry wherever they see fit. When it comes to another man barking up the wrong tree, all hell will break loose.

    If someone is trying to woo you with flowers and random text messages, it is up to you to put it to a stop, even if you are in a vulnerable state and like the attention. If men see that you are accepting intimate things, they will get the hint that you like it and want them to continue. They will persist to do as much as they can to keep your attention away from your boyfriend. If you do not say anything, your boyfriend will not be mad at the outsider but at you. Questions will come up as to why you did not tell this guy to stop and whether feelings are involved for you to accept roses and love notes.

    Being upfront about your relationship is tremendously important. Lying can weave yourself into traps you may not be able to get out of. Some guys (and girls) believe if you’re lying about your current relationship then you will lie about the next and the next. Don’t hide the truth that you’re in a relationship just because one guy doesn’t want you in one. If your relationship hurts, break it off and move on. But don’t fall into another man’s arms before really considering whether or not that “shoulder to cry on” is there for you in the long haul or just for the next fifteen minutes.

     

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    Vanessa Walker

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