You are each others support system. You share important moments together, argue, make up, and reveal information about yourself you wouldn’t dare let the average person know. You make time for each other and you compromise. You even cut ties when the relationship has run its course. It’s amazing how similar a friendship is to a dating relationship. Everything from the way we interact to the way we solve problems is rooted with the same methods. So if those relationships are so similar then why don’t we use similar methods when entering or exiting them?
Females are often known for having fickle or generic friendships with each other. We sometimes pretend to like one another when in reality we have nothing in common and settle for toleration. Why are we forcing ourselves into friendships that we know don’t really work for us? Like having “friends by association”, there is always that mutual friend, which happens to be cool with someone you get along with but the two of you don’t necessarily mesh. Yet you find yourself forcing a friendship because it seems logical. Would you enter a dating relationship because “it seems logical”? A friendship is a commitment and you can be picky about who you commit too.
We all have a mental list of specific characteristic a person must posses in order to be considered as a potential significant other. Things we pay attention to as soon as we meet somebody. It’s okay to choose your friends using methods you would use when dating. Below are a few methods that not only work in regards to relationships but you can apply these ideals to friendships as well.
Meeting New People
You meet a guy and he’s your type: funny, career oriented, honest, and has like-minded interests. You ask him on a date to see if you hit it off and if all goes well you plan on seeing him again. Why not apply that same method to potential friends? You’re in line at the book store and another customer starts chatting about how they read and loved the book you’re about to purchase. You realize you have a lot in common and they go to the same gym as you. Suggest a Zumba class and see if you hit it off.
Don’t Settle
Some women are just as afraid of not having friends as they are of being alone. The worse thing you can do is be friends with someone you know has the potential to negatively influence you or your reputation. Just like the saying “Your Partner is a reflection of you” applies to your relationship, your friends are a reflection of you as well. Don’t feel forced to hangout with people you only tolerate if you don’t immediately have other friends. Be comfortable in your own skin and wait for the right crowd to come along.
Make an Effort
To have the most successful relationships whether that is friendship, dating, or otherwise you have to put in work. Make time to spend with your friends, trust them, keep up with what’s going on in there lives, and make sure they know you value their friendship.
Don’t Forget about YOU
A lot of times we put ourselves on the back burner to tend to others needs. Sacrificing sleep or productivity to make sure everyone else is taken care of. Know when to say no. Time to yourself and time put towards things that will be beneficial to you is a must and you don’t have to make any apologies about it.
A friendship is a relationship test out these methods to improve the quality of yours.
1 Comment
I would love to see an article titled “Friendship Rules You Should Apply to Your Relationships”. I feel like I see the opposite just as much where we have higher standards for our best friends and lower standards for our boyfriends. I mean, would your best friend still be your best friend if she pulled half the things the men in your life have? If she made you feel even half as crummy as the men in your life have? I feel like we require so much of a friend before we give them our complete trust and the title “BFF”. We require that they get us, accept us, believe in us, that we feel 100% comfortable with them, that we can count on them to be on our side and have our best interest at heart EVERY time. But with boyfriends, after a month or so we feel “chemistry” and “attraction” and envision wedding bells and bundles of joy and all of a sudden we start sharing things with them that only our best friends know about us. We give them the kinds of trust and confidence we’d only give our best friends. We give them all of the privileges of a best friend…without the expectations. If you caught your boyfriend cheating on you with your best friend, who would you be most hurt by? I feel like you’d be most hurt by your best friend because you had higher expectations of her. I mean, would you let a best friend lie to you repeatedly? Break her promises to you regularly? Ever make you feel insecure, inadequate or unloved? But these are all things I see my friends letting the men in their lives do to them constantly…and they STAY AROUND!! It boggles my mind. I just want them to find men that love them at LEAST as much as I do…men who have their best interests at heart, like I do and couldn’t imagine life without them, like I can’t.
And now that I’ve gone completely off topic in a mini essay, I will go back to doing my PLCY homework lol.