Want a Seat at the Table, Ladies? Then You’ve Got to Leave Your Emotions at the Door

As women, we are often seen as soft, eloquent, and sometimes emotionally fragile beings. The social construct of who and what a women is supposed to be has been ingrained in us since our mothers pushed us out of the womb. When little boys were learning how to be rough and tough, breaking bones and scraping elbows, we learned that afterward, we help clean up their cuts and bruises.

While young men are taught not to show their emotions, to be strong, and be the man they are destined to be—we were told it was okay to cry and it is… but not all the time. Men, and even some women, just won’t take us seriously. When working in industries that are often dominated by men, it is important to stay true to who we are while not letting our feelings or emotions get the best of us. This is often hard because our lives are often driven by our emotions.

Take a Step Back

Have you ever gone to work and felt feelings of anger, disappointment, worry or even frustration? There are a million and one things that might get your blood boiling at work but it is important to take a step back from the situation. It helps to stop and evaluate what is going on and what is actually making you upset.

It could have been a co-worker overstepping their boundaries or a customer who felt the need to go off on you—whatever the situation may be, learn how to step outside of it. You may not always see eye to eye with someone. Family members and social workers often hit triggers that may push us over the edge, causing us to retaliate with emotional responses. Know that these emotions and feelings are temporary and don’t define who you are.

Take Advice and Criticism Gracefully, Even if you Don’t Want to Hear it

If you’re anything like me, then this is easier said than done. When you’re emotional as f*ck, it can be extremely hard to take criticism and advice (especially not gracefully). There have been plenty of instances at school and work, where I was evaluated for my work. In one of my advertising classes, my professor had the reputation of being somewhat of a stickler.He was abrupt. He was honest. And he didn’t like his time being wasted.

However, what I learned from his abrasive attitude, I will take with me for the rest of my life. He taught me that no one is going to hold your hand or kiss your ass. You have to figure shit out on your own. People are going to be brutally honest with you and at times you’re not going to like it. Taking that criticism, learning from it and building on it is what truly defines your character.

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Learn to Forgive your Triggers

By forgiving your triggers, others words, opinions and feelings towards you will not be taken personally. The people we love the most are the ones who ultimately push those triggers the most. By forgiving, you no longer hold on to the animosity, resentment, or jealousy you were carrying with you. Forgiving is the biggest step because you allow yourself and others to be free without restraint and without the getting overly emotional by their antics or doings.

Our emotions remind us constantly that we are human beings. They lead us through our everyday life and ultimately make us the person we are. However, learning how to keep those emotions in check will put you a couple notches ahead of those who let their situations get the best of them and help you reach the top.

Take a look at Beyoncé — she’s one of the top selling artists in the world. When’s the last time you heard her cursing out an assistant or going wacko in a business meeting? Exactly. (Although, we are still are trying to find out what really happened in that elevator with Jay-Z and Solange).

Handle your business with grace and outwork your competition — and your seat at the table will be guaranteed.

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Shariyah Gordon

    October 27, 2016 at 7:03 am

    I believe that there is room to be emotional on your climb towards success. Men are taught to be strong and not show emotion but that isn’t the solution either. Women have a unique advantage of being able to be emotional and strong at the same. I think it produces great results in the work place. What I think is meant here is to show a healthy amount of emotion. Don’t be an emotional wreck all of the time. I’m sure Beyoncé may go a bit wacko at times its all in a days work of being human. It’s how you take that experience and grow from it that truly shows grace.

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