No breakup is a painless breakup. And ultimately cutting yourself loose from a committed five-year (+) relationship will definitely be messier than you thought, no matter what age you are. Whether or not this is your first or your third major split-up, you are bound to make a few mistakes along the way. However, there are certainly some dating faux pas to take highly into consideration (that is, before your life spins any further out of control):
Do Not
1. Pretend that you are “fine.”
Taking the time to express grief is an essential step in pulling yourself back up on your feet. Cry, sob, throw a vase – do what it takes. But, do not loose yourself entirely and hole up in your bedroom for more than one week. Surround yourself with good company and comfort food. Keep things real and remember to also take a few quieter moments for some much-needed self-reflection.
2. Blame your ex
While your ex is also at fault, it is not fair to blame your ex for everything that went wrong in your relationship. Do so and the blame in this sticky situation is now your own. It is normal to feel a rollercoaster of emotions – and often times than none, those feelings are quite hard to come face to face with. Alternatively, stop making excuses, take the time to look inside yourself and see what you can improve.
3. Pretend that you “never cared.”
If you already breezed through step one, then you are aware that allowing yourself to feel pain is a keynote in helping you to get on to the right path and move forward. But unfortunately, women sometimes let their pride get in the way. Do not let feeling good go to your head and start jabbering on about how your relationship with your ex was never a thing, when it rightly was. And probably still is.
4. Jump into another relationship.
Plain and simple – do not turn your one-night-stand into a budding, giddy relationship. Not only do you play the fool, but you will also end up hurting your newfound significant other in the long run. If you do not allow yourself the time to be alone, heal and recognize what went wrong in the last relationship, then your future relationships will fail.
Cheers to happier days, doll.
photo credit: LarissaCoe
1 Comment
#4 is so hard but so true! Although I read an article that said the next person does help you to get over your ex. But I agree with your thoughts, you need time alone. You have to be able to get through it!