We all wonder when is it okay to finally hit the sack with the man we’re dating. It’s a tricky subject and everyone has a different viewpoints on it. With the double standards between men and women, it is hard for liberated women to do what they want without being scrutinized for it.
The typical labels: if you have sex too quick then you’re easy but if you wait too long then you’re stuck up. Or if you have too many sexual partners you’re a “hoe” but if you don’t open your legs to everyone then you still manage to be a prude. No matter which route you decide to drive down, making decisions isn’t the easiest. Maintaining a sexual balance or defining it rather can be downright hard.
To add more fuel to the fire about when to have sex or not, the “90-day rule” wags its dirty tail and comes into play. This means waiting 90 days after you meet a man before you become sexually involved. This is three months of just dating, talking and learning about each other through intellectual conversation and fun activities besides sex. Usually sex tends to cloud our minds and leave us astray from experiencing the true qualities of a person. When sex seeps in between, you become full of lust and the physical attraction may distract you from the mental and emotional attraction you can create with that person.
If you think that the man you’re dating is someone you see in your future, trying to commit to the 90-day rule is important. You get to learn more about his personality and future long term goals. Women agree with this rule because it allows them to get to know someone better and not get caught up in the complications sex creates.
If you came out of a long relationship and you’re ready to have fun, at least give yourself a little while before hopping into bed with just anyone. With the rise of HIV/AIDS and STDs spreading, it is much easier to contract an infection. One night stands may be fun and sometimes are inevitable if you’re drinking back-to-back shots, but it’s still imperative to always be protected. And even if your not dreaming of wedding bells, it’s important to have an idea of who you’re about to have sex with, whether it be a friend, acquaintance, or a complete stranger.
Protect yourself emotionally and physically and know your long term (and short term) goals when you’re meeting someone. Once you decide what you want from them, everything else is easier afterwards.
1 Comment
This 90 day rule is so arbitrary and counter-productive that it pains me to see women actually adhere to it. Passion has no time limit nor incubation period; some of the most significant relationships have been in have been with girls I have had sex with in less than a week of knowing them. Some of my most bitter memories of women who were a waste of my damn time have been with women who I waited incessantly (only to be disappointed with lack of sexual compatibility and passion). If you’re using your vagina as a bargaining chip to keep a man around then you’ve lost the game. Men want to be around a woman who makes a man FEEL like a man, who can tap into the physical and emotional circuits of his mind and heart and whose presence balances his masculine energy with her strong feminine energy. Alas, I tell girls straight up, “Hey listen, I am feeling your vibe and think you are very intriguing…I am also very attracted to you and would love to bite your neck softly while we make love” or some permutation of that…with a man showing strength through that type of honesty and vulnerabilty, would you still want to put up a counterproductive rule or would you proceed with your heart’s desire?