We’ve all had our share of unobtainable bad boys and emotionally unavailable players. If you’re officially tired of dating the wrong men, here are a few pieces of advice.
Don’t Make Excuses. If a man wants to be with you, he will let you know. If you have to wonder, the answer is probably no. Don’t make excuses for him. If our commander-in-chief can find the time to tuck our first lady into bed, then surely the part-time sales attendant you met at the mall last week isn’t too busy to give you a call. Stop dating guys whose attention you have to fight for. The right guy won’t notice there’s anyone else in the room.
Know Your Worth. Look within and decide what you’re worthy of. Then, stay aware of whether or not the men you’re dating have characteristics worthy of you! You don’t end up with the wrong partner when you can say no to the person you’re dating. Ask yourself: “Is this the right person for me? Is he showing stable and responsible characteristics? Have I spent the time to learn if we can cope with one another each day?” This helps to weed out the narcissists, womanizers and control freaks.
No “Molding”. Women in our society are praised for being caretakers or fixers, and we want to nurture and repair broken men. And while it’s a nice thought, it’s not what dating is about. Dating is about interviewing the right partner for you, for life. You can’t focus on finding suitable life partners, if you’re treating every man you encounter as a project. He will eventually grow tired of you trying to “mold” him, and you will have only wasted your time.
Check Yourself. Look at the behaviors that cause you to repeatedly date the wrong men. For instance: do you choose men based on your financial instability? If so, I would suggest for you to try and become as financially independent as possible. Are you afraid of ending up alone? Then it’s imperative that you learn to love yourself and your own company first. Doing these things allow you to choose when you love and whom you love.
Set Limits. When dating you should set your limits, and then see if he can cope with them. If he handles this well, and you see that he shows stable characteristics, then you probably have a good man on your hands. You can trust that your relationship will grow and develop over time. Why? Because he accepted your “no”, he accepted your limits, and you stood up and loved yourself enough to ask for what you want. However, if he does not handle the limits well, then you know that he is more than likely not the guy for you.
Know When To Walk Away. It takes internal strength, and a strong support system to walk away from any relationship. Create a solid support team, so that when you feel it is time to walk away, you can do so more easily. Spending time with close friends and family is one of the best ways to cope with your transitioning dating status.