While being a little hard on ourselves can be helpful at times, it all usually boils down to one tiny voice declaring one big thing: I’m not good enough. But you’re not alone. Here’s a little secret I want to share with you: everyone thinks they’re not good enough! The fear of “not being good enough” is one of the deepest, most fundamental fears every human being on the planet has. Every time I start on a new project, those same old feelings arise. But here’s the thing: now I know how to deal with them and I will say it is a practice. Nobody gets this perfect, and you will have to work at it, but if you’re struggling to beat down the voice of resistance, here’s exactly what to do:
Realize it’s not personal. Like I mentioned before, every person at some point in time has doubted himself or herself. It’s not personal to YOU. We all experience it. This is why it’s extremely important to realize you HAVE a mind, but you are not your mind.
Recognize and Understand. Fear is the root of your negative voice. And the root of all fear is feelings. What are you afraid of? Why do you feel this way? By recognizing, understanding and confronting your feelings, you will begin to overcome your fear, and eventually weaken your negative inner voice.
Talk to yourself. No seriously. Those “I’m not good enough” thoughts don’t go away the older you get, the more experienced you get or the more successful you get. You can combat your negative inner voice by listening to it and refusing to believe it. Yes, it’s really that easy. Acknowledge and embrace the voice, but stop giving it attention. When those all too familiar feelings come up, I say, “Thanks for sharing” and get back to doing my best. I put all of my attention into the person I’m serving or helping. I put my attention outward, not on myself. If all of your attention is on creating results and helping others, you’ve got no room to wonder whether you’re good enough. Always remember: resistance is the strongest when you’re on the verge of something great.
Let go. Let go of your desire to control. It will set you free. When you accept that you can’t control life, this amazing thing starts to happen – you stop fighting it. Imagine a world where things just seem to come together effortlessly and certain people and opportunities miraculously appear – and you didn’t have to lift a finger. It’s called synchronicity, darling! How do you stop controlling? The answer is easy: you CHOOSE to STOP.
Now it’s your turn. What do you do when your mind tells you that you’re not good enough? Do you have a practice to move past it like I do?
About the author: Mariah Thompson is a 20-something year old writer living and loving in Atlanta, GA. Follow her on Twitter.