I hate being indecisive. I hate having to pick between two things, not sure which one will be better than the other, which one will be worth my money. I hate feeling stuck in my planning for the future, not sure which direction to take, what dreams to abandon, where to go.
I’ll often let my thoughts carry me when I have big decisions to make — or am thinking of what steps to take to reach my next goal. I have a bad habit of letting these thoughts roll on replay in my mind, like an old 60s record stuck on a phonograph. Over and over, I allow thoughts of decision (“I can do it!”) and doubt “but what if…” battle each other in my mind, until I grow sick and weary of thinking of them anymore.
This process keeps me stuck like a bug in quicksand. Constantly wiggling towards what my heart and soul believes is right, but weighed down by a massive amount of self-doubt.
Doubt will do that to you. Make you feel like Hercules, forever trying to roll a heavy boulder up a hill. It’s our natural inclination to doubt ourselves — the part of our psyche that is unwilling to let go of what is known to trust in the unknown or what has yet to happen. That’s because what has not happened is hard to see. What we want to happen can be even harder to see. Our dreams seem far off, undiscovered galaxies in the distance. They feel masked behind clouds, peeking out slightly like moonlight on a stormy night.
When in doubt, ask for clarity. Wait for clarity. Then the right thought will come to you.
You might ask how is that possible? How can I get an answer when I can barely think straight, when my mind ruminates over the same thoughts over and over again? When I’ve been stuck in a rut for so long? When things should’ve gotten better but they haven’t gotten better?
Clarity only comes to those that are willing to drop the weight of the world from their shoulders. When you are able to be still and let the being that you are simply be — everything becomes clear to you. You begin to reckon with your inner self, cling tighter to your beliefs. The heaviness of responsibilities and obligations dissipates, leaving you open to the endless amount of possibilities around you.
Doubt cannot take down a person that lives in faith, free from the business or nuances of the world. They are clear-minded and determined to attain goals that many people see as impossible.
If something’s got you bothered — whether it’s thoughts about what to major in, what city to move in, or what path to take with your career — then be still. Take your mind off of whatever is distressing you. Dispel ruminating thoughts from your mind and simply ask for clarity. Don’t return to the thought — just go about your day. The answer may come to you in your dreams. In a conversation with an old friend. On a bus ride. In a book. At work.
The answer will come whenever it is ready. But your mind must be free of the clutter that doubt will create in you in order to receive it when it’s time.