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Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone to Find Love

syreetaOn February 9, Syreeta hosted “Sincerely, Love” a Philly-based speed-dating event that helped single professionals meet new people. The event also included conversation about healthy portrayals of love. We chatted with Martin about why she believes women are afraid to step out of their comfort zone on their journey to love and the one thing she believes should never be compromised in relationships.

When it comes to dating, most women are unwilling to step outside their comfort zone. Why do you think that is?

Syreeta: I try not to speak for all women but I do think that this day and age hasn’t made it any easier for women to step outside their comfort zone when it comes to dating–especially if you’re a woman of a certain age group and looking for a gentleman. For instance, I am 24 years-old and although they certainly do exist, gentlemen in my age bracket are hard to come by. All to often, they’re caught up trying to live the life of whatever is trending. Unfortunately, what’s trending right now is not that of respect and adoration for women, and the role that they play as a man’s equal.

Do you believe women should get rid of their “list of requirements” when seeking out a partner? Why or why not?

SyreetaI don’t necessarily think that they should get rid of them but I do think that they women should not become fixated on them. I fear that women may lose out on good loving and adoration because it may not come in the package that they envisioned. So yes, have standards, respect yourself and show a man how you want to be treated…but don’t let your mental list interfere with living and exploring your love options. Many women are afraid to give speed dating a try or see it as something that can’t spark any “serious” relationships.

Why do you think more women should consider speed dating?

SyreetaWE OVERTHINK WAY TOO MUCH SOMETIMES. I don’t think speed-dating is something that we necessarily have to go in expecting a serious relationship out of. While on the journey to love, you’re still supposed to live and enjoy life, right? You’re still supposed to explore new things and learn more about yourself. I think speed dating is a safe, fun way to accomplish that in a small amount of time. If you happen to find something serious, hooray! And if you don’t, you definitely have one hell of a memory and experience.

black_couple3What should women wear to a speed dating event?

SyreetaI think that depends on the speed dating event. There are all types of them out here, however, I think one thing that is certain: dress how you desire to be approached and treated. If more of your body is exposed than your mind, do you really expect a man to take you serious when you say, “I’m looking for something serious?” I’ll be the first to make it clear that I like dressing sexy, but I believe in doing it with class. Learn how men and women are attracted to each another and then play that to your advantage.

What should women never settle for when it comes to love?

 SyreetaWomen should never “settle” when it comes to love. Chances are if you feel that you’re having to settle, then a re-evaluation of that “love” needs to take place. Is it love or a matter of comfort and familiarity? I’m an equal-opportunist meaning we each have the opportunity to do what’s necessary to make our relationship and love a success. Anytime that I’m the only one taking those opportunities to do so, there’s a problem. Don’t settle for a love that’s anything less than what you’re giving.

What is one rule of love advice that you live by?

 Syreeta:If you don’t have communication, you don’t have a got damn thing. Trust, respect, love — it all starts with communication. Whether it be: “You pissed me off and I don’t really know what I want to say about it right now but I simply need you to know that I’m pissed” or a full explanation…SAY IT, WRITE IT DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO BUT COMMUNICATE IT IN A MATURE MANNER. Get yourself used to expressing what you want, need, and expect both from you and your lover.

 

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