As we all know relationships are work. They are an investment. They require time and nurturing…and ultimately what you put in is what you get out. This can sometimes go sour on us…especially when we don’t realize that we are putting a third-party into our relationships.
Are you that girl or guy that goes and tells your parents all of your issues in your relationship? Do you only tell your family all of the negative things that your partner does? Instead of staying and trying to work through whatever the current obstacle is in your relationship, do you run to a close friend or someone else to work it out instead of reconciling with them? If this sounds like you, then I strongly suggest that you do some subtraction in this relational equation. I strongly believe that allowing others to completely dictate your actions toward your spouse is very unhealthy especially when it’s coming from an inexperienced individual with twisted motives lacking moral values. It is unfair to your partner and to your relationship.
While some allowances can be made for marriage counseling or seeking wise council from a trusted individual, if your “go to” girl/guy is the bitter, unhappy, single friend then I think you should pass. What’s the point of being in a relationship with one person if you’re going to be vulnerable and transparent with someone who isn’t your significant other? If your answer is that you don’t want any type of argument and confrontation then I think that is the sorriest excuse–especially if you’re married. “Leave it to cleave” isn’t just cliche…it’s real. You and your husband or wife need to work out your issues with each other through those several scenarios given in the form of vows. For those that aren’t married it isn’t to soon to began practicing such a habit.
I’ve also noticed that we tend to “tattle-tale” on each other to our friends. What are we, five? Unless the situation is resulting in danger (i.e sexual/physical abuse, drugs, etc.) these types of behaviors also shape how people view your partner. So if you’re always wondering why your best friend can’t stand your man or girl you just got the answer. You’re in a relationship…a relationship…not a threesome or an orgy or whatever twisted dysfunction that can come from sharing too much.Work these things out with that person because you promised that when you committed to them. If you continually run away from the situation to someone else then how do you ever expect for the problem between the two of you to be resolved when you’re not there to begin with. If you’re tired of arguing maybe if you take time to acknowledge that something is wrong and then carefully proceed to effectively correct the error I’m pretty sure things will eventually get better. Fight for a healthier, stronger relationship. Running away to your best friends still leaves an unresolved issue awaiting your return at home.
In other words… woman up! It’s all well worth it. Your partner would appreciate it and your relationship will benefit greatly from it.