How come six months pass and all of a sudden you blowing up my phone?
I never looked good before. Remember me? The chick with braces and goggles in high school? Now that I’m in college half-way across the country you want to give me a ring?
Oh yeah, we met in the club that night. Like a year ago. But you just got the inkling around Valentine’s Day to leave me a message telling me your feeling me. Riiiiiiight.
I can’t stand a stray dog. Which I feel like some men are.
There always on the hunt. For new booty. For new meat. For new booty meat. And when they’ve exhausted all their options under the sun in their 5-digit zip code they start flipping through their little black book to see who they can sprinkle some half-baked compliments on in order to fulfill their needs.
“You know I always liked you girl, I was just to shy.”
“I mean a few years made you even sexier than ever, Ma.”
“The night I met you I knew you’d be the one.”
Yeah, and so did that random cab driver in New York when I tipped him five extra bucks for getting me to a work meeting on time.
Like I said, men are like stray dogs.
They always come back.
Let me repeat: They always come back.
It’s like that ex that broke up with you and then they later realize how much they love you and they were the best thing they ever had going for them (if you watched Single Ladies, you know what I mean–Quinn).
Or when they pass you up at 21 because they you ain’t DTF, but keep you in the back pocket because you’re the wifey type.
Or when they tell you they can’t be in a relationship because they’re “too busy”. But manage to keep talking to you. And texting you. And skyping you. And spending the night with you.
Having their cake and eating it too. And then licking their fingers when they’re done.
It seems that there’s some struggle within the male mind with emotional intelligence. They can never say what they mean when they want to say it. But they know how to say things in order to not lose you as a potential booty call in the future.
As women we must learn to stand our ground and maintain our dignity and not fall into these traps by men. It’s hard. Especially when you’ve gone a couple of years without a date or some good tender love and care. Shoot, anything looks good to you, even a growling pitbull. But even with our need or desires for satisfactory love, we must learn how to honor our values and be mindful of the men we meet and chose to allow into our lives. Because all because a stray comes back doesn’t mean you have to let it in your home.
Cause once a dog, always a dog, in my opinion.
They say if a man comes back then it’s a sign of true love.
But be wary of those nasty stray dogs. Because they definitely ain’t no golden retriever.
Trust me. Lassie don’t bite. Or make booty calls.