By Landraya White
There’s one thing that we women need to have more of when it comes to men and it’s patience. Honestly, patience is truly a virtue. And it’s hard to have when we are always playing the waiting game with a new boy with potential.
Being in a serious relationship for a long time can do one of a few things to a girl. If it ends badly, it can make you shun away men, treating them as if they all have the bubonic plague. If it goes well, it can make you gully for love, those kind of people who go around smiling all the time. But if you get out of being a serious relationship, it sometimes feels hard to just be single for a while.
Sometimes you get this feeling where you start to miss being loved. And come on, if you’ve ever been in love you know what that feels like. I can say some of my happiest moments came from when I was deeply in love with a man. I have never been happier in my life. We sometimes don’t realize how valuable the concept of love between two people can be. Or how precious it is.
Getting out of a bad relationship can do emotional damage, but as a woman, I’ve seen myself become that terrifyingly aggressive female who constantly pushes for a relationship way too early and watches a guys buttocks as they run away. No, seriously! Cooing “babe” over the phone at only three weeks in is a sign of that and any form of intimacy makes me automatically think that the guy must want to be my boyfriend because hey—he’s hanging out in places that I don’t let many people venture too. I have found that in most of my lustful mishaps and failed courtships, that I too was to blame. I ride over the idea that the guy could only want me for a pleasurable night in bed, and try to imagine myself being with the person. He couldn’t be possibly out to hurt me. He must want me now.
Yes. I imagine myself with them. It’s really a horrible thing to be bitten by the lovebug. I’ve actually had dreams of being pregnant and married with men that I’ve just recently met and started crushing on.
Why was I doing it? Because I had this constant need to get back into a relationship immediately. I wanted to be hugged, loved, and touched all over again. I’m a fiend for love, I am and I miss being in a relationship. And it’s so hard when you feel like everyone around you is all booed up and happily running along with their mates. I start to wonder, what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I get a man?
I reached a point when I was over being single. And I reached that limit pretty fast. I mean, who can really stand dealing with dumb boys that just want to get some over and over again? It’s the thrill of the chase, the reason why some people feel the urge to be single in the first place. But honestly, I’m one of those girls that don’t like to be played a fool by a man, and for some reason it’s happened to me too many times. I get all caught up in the game he’s spitting and forget to realize the condom sitting on the dashboard of his car. Need I say more?
But what I’ve learned from relationships that last, is that you have to play the waiting game. And hold yourself to higher integrity in the process of it. Many of my good girlfriends that are with great guys right now didn’t just meet them in a day and start dating them over night. Some were people they knew for quite some time. Somewhere friends of a friend. But they all had patience when it came to finding true love. Jumping into a relationship too quickly, I’ve noticed, can make a person crash and burn. I mean honestly, do you really know a person after talking to them for three weeks? Give it time, blow some fairy dust on it.
The last thing you want to do is look like a big fool. What you want may not be what the other person wants, so make sure you clear that up soon before you find yourself initiating every phone call and looking real desperate. No one wants to be that girl.
I’ve always believed what’s meant to be shall be. If you meet that cute guy and hooked up with him on the low and felt played when he told you that he likes you but he’s got trust issues like Drake—don’t let him go to early. Hit him up every now and then. Really get to know them. I often feel like in our day and age we like to rush into things without really knowing a person. So take your time with it. And if you haven’t found that someone, just live your life. They will surely come along soon.
It’s hard, yes, because you never know when the lovebug is going to bite you and you constantly feel like you’re going to be waiting for forever.
But, patience is truly a virtue my dear. Patience is a virtue.