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Are Second Chances Worth It?

By Kerri Byam

There is the hello, and then the intrigue and curiosity. Curiosity turns into pursuit, pursuit into infatuation, infatuation into the middle of a relationship and then you are wondering how you got there. The arguments, bickering, make-ups, and break-ups begin to take over what was once a beautiful friendship with the strings firmly attached. He said turns into she said and vice versa; there are damaging missteps here or there, and someone is hurt while the other person is breaking his or her neck to get out of a relationship that once was worth the chase.

Someone might move on to another partner to share worse or better experiences than the former relationship with the previous partner. The other former lover may do the same; he or she may be pining away for what once was. Better yet, both former lovers may be apart but are still thinking about each other. What if the feelings are mutual after a period of time? What if the both of you want to try again?

There is the infamous second chance. This is a pretty controversial topic. Whether or not it is a romantic relationship, second chances are always hard to give. It is not easy to forget the past, and when a second is given, it is all that a person can remember. How can both partners trust that things will be different this time? What if the relationship ended badly? What if the person broke your heart? Does it matter if you cherish that person completely, without a question, through and through? Will that be enough to cancel out all of the bad memories? How often do you repress those memories to focus on the second chance you’re giving to that person?

Despite the memories that are deliberately being pushed to the back of your brain, there are also the good memories to deal with. If you both were lucky (or cursed, it depends on your point of view), love may have been a part of the relationship that you both were building. Before you know it, the lover who denounced his or her love for you is back in your arms again, filling up the space that once held its void from the said lover. Despite the joy of having your honey again, you cannot help but wonder, “Why did I give him a second chance?”

You start over, but things are not like they were before. Your partner is more guarded from past experiences between the both of you, and trust is increasingly becoming a harboring issue. It could very well be the deal-breaker that causes the second and final break. A second chance is wasted and you are back to square one, seeking hellos from someone else.

Some people really do not believe in second chances, all within reason. Habits are hard to break; it is difficult for someone to break from his or her comfort zone or normal mode of behavior. Struggling thoughts of doubt can cramp your head as you continue to wonder if your partner has changed.

Others do believe second chances have more value than many people believe. If the person comes back, if he or she has the feelings that brought the relationship together in the first place, it may be worth the effort. Sometimes, second chances come with more work, but the road to true love is not a smooth one. It can be jagged, never-ending, confusing at times. Yet, the person that is holding your hand on that road will be the one person who is holding it until the end?

Or will they? Are second chances really worth it?

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